The Enemy Beside Me + The Liar Beside Me (Book 1 and 2)

Entry #1

Dear old journal,

I would like to begin this journey with you by being honest: I am now going to abandon my past. I will start with small things such as my dialect. It pains me to say that, but I have to start somewhere else. I'm still here in our hometown. I am yet to leave. As you can guess by now, I am currently hiding. So, please, let me practice now. With you. Doesn't that sound great?

From now on, I will tell my story with the standard dialect. Although, to be honest, I will miss exclaiming なまら! (namara) Or my mother's めんこい (menkoi) every time I entertained her with my stupid little dance.

How should I begin? Ah, how about my mother's burial?

My mother was wearing all black, ready for her burial.

As I'd been told, I should refrain from crying. Anyway, it was not as though I could do anything to stop this, so to distract myself, I looked at my aunt without being obvious.

Oba had always liked her name: Sara. She said it sounds like the name of a Zone 2 citizen. As far as I know, she'd always deluded herself that she was born there. It was odd to hear it from her since most of us do not trust anyone who does not belong here.

To be more precise, she wishes she had pale brown hair and pale white skin. Because she was always outside selling sweets, her skin had got darker over the past few years. That's why she envied my mother, her sister-in-law, but we didn't speak about that fact. To be more clear, we should never speak about her. Because in our household, Haha had never existed ever since Chichi-sama had died.

I remember my mother's funeral as clear as a glass of clean water. Why wouldn't I when I was sitting beside her as they prayed for her? I don't even think they were indeed praying for her. I would bet all the remaining years of my life that they were thanking the whole universe for her imminent death.

Nobody was inside the box. There was no body, but it didn't matter because she was dead. And because she was dead her lips remained closed as we watched everyone cry for her. Haha knew they were celebrating behind those tears. But we didn't say anything. Not that we were allowed to, anyway. I tried objecting, but that had only prompted them to choke me until I turned blue. Haha had to rescue me, and by doing so, she, too, was punished. So by then, I tried to behave as much as I could. I was stupid. I knew I couldn't do anything, and yet I still made Haha suffer more. I'm sorry...

They were going to bury her. For them, a wife should forever be with her husband. It's not a tradition here, but nobody cared about that fact. They had to have a reason to get rid of her. 'She should serve him until their death,' was what Sofu had said. I knew then I would also lose my mother.

'Eien-bou,' Oba said, her lips slicked with bright red lipstick. I tried to not glance at Haha as I received my money for the whole year, sealed in a red envelope. I was hoping it'd be enough to support me, but even as a small child, I knew I'd starve. It wasn't enough. It was never enough.

We were never that poor; they could have given me more as I was the sole heir of my late father. But they'd rather keep it all to save money, they said.

I suck in big air to stop myself from crying. 'You're too young to own keitai.'

I bowed my head because I knew Oba wanted me to look sad. Honestly, I did not care about it. I was never eager to learn how to send a message using a mobile device. I was that kind of boy who would rather watch the sky than speak with anyone.

'But,' she continued, 'I talked to Ojiisan, and he said we could trust you. You're a big boy now, aren't you?' In my family, you don't express your affection by hugging or kissing. Not even with your family. So Oba merely tapped my shoulder as she slipped the keitai in the sleeve of my mofuku. I know I looked ridiculous wearing that, but they wanted to humiliate me.

One time, I picked up a used peipaakura. In it, someone was lamenting how his life was unfair. It was written by a boy. He said he couldn't stay in his school anymore because of too much ijime. As I read the last sentence, my hunch had been correct. He was a kikokushijo kid.

You see, when you are a kikokushijo, nine out of ten, you will receive ijime. That's just how life works. When you are different, people will hate you no matter how kind you are. Just look at Haha. She was so kind she never raised her voice. And because she never spoke her mind, everyone thought it was okay to treat her as though she were nothing but a dead rat.

'Bimbo!' was their usual expression every time she passed by.

Do you know why? Because she was not from here. She was from a different land, and they said I was conceived there. A part of that country had sunk, so Haha fled to another country. How she ended up in Zone 1, nobody could guess. It was all stupid rumours anyway. They did not make sense, and they did not have to.

'Eien-bou.' My face remained neutral as I faced Oba again. I had lost track of time. My mother was still sitting straight. It was a good thing she'd accepted her death, so I could also move on. As she had said before, we had no choice.' You're going to be a good boy, right?'

Oba reeked of alcohol, so talking to her was useless. 'Yes, Obasan. I will be a good boy.'

'Usotsuke!' Oba said, swinging her arms around like a madwoman she was. She resembled the oni in my dream more than a normal human. I ignored her.

I have learnt to act invisible. Back then, I thought if I didn't speak, if I didn't move, they'd not get angry at me. For a few months, it had worked. I had no room. I had no food after my mother's funeral. Even Oba and Sofu had never talked to me again. It was as though by the time they had buried my mother, I had been with her.

That was fine. I never loved them anyway. Yes, that's right. I am not lying to myself, and why should I? Sofu has this habit of smacking my head with his geta. He does not care, says I am already an idiot like my mother. 'Baka ne, Eien-kun? Baka!' he would shout right at my ears.

So picture how thankful I was when I was left to fend for myself. I mostly lived under the bridge, but sometimes police officers would come there, so I had to hide in a park. I was good at hiding!

It was lonely, but I had the freedom my mother had never had.

Until I was not again.

They had found me. Sofu, despite his age, was fast. I had thought they didn't care about me anymore, so I was surprised by how mad he was when he looked at me. Somebody stole the big bag of money they had been hiding.

'Hayaku okaeri!' I tried running. But you see, I was just a small boy. I had short, chubby legs, so with no effort, they managed to pin me down. I remember there were three of them.

I'll spare you all the horrible details they had done to me. In the end, they had burnt me whilst I was still alive. All for the stolen money? No. It was to get rid of the curse for good.