The Enemy Beside Me + The Liar Beside Me (Book 1 and 2)

Entry #3

Hello, I have got a trivia for you today: Have you ever wondered why is my name seem to be odd? It's actually not a common name, or at least not that kind of a name one would give to their child.

Not Haha though. She said whilst I was inside her womb, she'd dreamt of Yatagarasu, the great three-legged crow sent by the Heaven to guide Emperor Jimmu. If you don't know who Emperor Jimmu is, I suggest reading more about him. I'm sure you'd like him as much as Haha did. Don't laugh now. Emperor Jimmu was the descendant of the storm God, Susanoo, and you don't ever want to anger a storm God, do you? So don't laugh, okay?

Emperor Jimmu captured the province of Yamato, that's how powerful he was! How great was he, right? Why am I telling you this? Well, my birthday is on the eleventh of February, the same date as Emperor Jimmu's accession. You could say my birthday is special since everyone in Zone 1 celebrates it. Not for me, of course, but it's the thought that counts.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I think I'm losing track again. We were talking about the history behind my name, right?

Haha, whilst travelling, met a nice person named Kanna. I love her name, by the way. Kanna-san was a weird woman, Haha had told me. She was young and old at the same time. With her lack of height and her balding head, it was hard to determine what her real age was.

Good thing it did not matter that much to my mother as they bonded with things a child like me still doesn't understand. Unexpectedly, Kanna-san touched my mother's belly. 'You're carrying a wonderful life' Haha gasped because she'd not had told anyone yet about her condition and her belly was flat, so she asked Kanna-san if she was practising magic or anything.

Kanna-san laughed. 'Yatagarasu visited me in my dreams last night. I saw a pregnant woman in my dream. And then here you are. You were affectionately rubbing your belly.' She leaned closer, listening even though I hadn't had formed yet. 'It's a boy.'

'How did you know?' Haha asked, amazed by Kanna-san.

'Yatagarasu,' Kanna-san repeated. 'It guided me here.'

Haha gasped. 'Could it be...? You're the descendant of the great Emperor Jimmu?'

'Maybe. Who knows?'

That night, Haha also dreamt of the Yatagarasu and Emperor Jimmu. Only that time, Kanna-san's face replaced the legendary Emperor's. By then, she was convinced that Kanna-san, was, indeed, connected to Emperor Jimmu.

To honour her, she named me Eien, the era after the Kanna era. It's a bit confusing, I know, so take your time.

Kanna-san's name is written like this: 寛和 whilst mine is written like this: 永延. You see? We were named after eras! It's uncommon, as far as I know.

If you write my name like this: 永遠, it becomes quite eerie. Because 永遠 means Eternal. Forever. They say I'll have an endless supply of luck, and yet with everything that has happened to me so far, I think what 永遠 really means is that I'll suffer for eternity. I hope I'm wrong though.

Anyway, you are just a journal, I do not even understand why I am talking to you as if you were going to console me.

In a way, you do. I cannot talk to anyone else as I still carry immense hatred in my heart. And I've promised to myself that I'd never open my mouth unless I've learnt to forgive everyone who had wronged me. So far, I'm not winning. But I am working hard on it. I will work harder the next day and the next day...

Until I can finally speak again.