The Enemy Beside Me + The Liar Beside Me (Book 1 and 2)

B2 Chapter 2

'THAT IS RIGHT, Mister Evans. Whilst I can't heal myself, my body heals faster. Not in a minute, not in an hour. It can take days, so I have to be careful,' Eien answers after I asked him about his condition and the limitation of his healing ability.

What a sad reality. It reflects how benevolent and martyr he truly is. If you think about it, he's kinda like Jesus. He healed and saved everyone, and yet He couldn't do the same for Himself. I wonder if sometimes, Eien asks himself why he has to go through with this. Even Jesus cried about the unfairness of His situation before He died. My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring? Huh, how do I still know this? Then again, I'd only stopped reading King James for two years. You don't forget these things just because you hated yourself.

With his tiny hands, Eien has helped us more than he could imagine. Speaking of, when we first met, his fingers were plastered. We never talked about it, I never asked him because I knew he'd not answer me. He'd rather suffer in silence, that's just who he is.

'I'm so sorry,' I mumble. With a defeated sigh, I clasp my hands together and rest my forehead on my thumbs' knuckles. For a whole minute, Eien and I stay quiet. I can't read his expression, but I can hear his soft breathing.

Then, his small and soft hand strokes my hair. 'You do not have to apologise, Mister Evans. You only did what you had thought was the right thing to do. At least, do not apologise to me but to Watanabe-kun. I will try my best to recover faster so I can heal him. I just hope it won't be too late.'

I stare at him in a snap. 'What are you saying?' I ask as soft as I can.

Pity rushes in his eyes. He tells me, once again, that this, whatever it is, is not entirely my fault. In a way, he's right. Kaito might be a psychopath, a manipulative billionaire, but Fumihiro could've at least tried to resist or given me a signal that he had no intention to hurt Eien.

'If he loses his hand, there is no way for me to save it.' Eien avoids my gaze. Instead, he focuses on his shaking hands.

'No,' I say. I'm conscious of how I sound so hollowed as though I'm not here, as though I'm seeing another person's dream. 'OK, let's say you're right. But I saw him turning his hand into a snake. Maybe there's an animal that can grow a new body part. Those animals exist, right?'

He nods. For a moment, my hope shoots up. 'That is if he can apply it to his human form. If not, then...' he trails off. He doesn't have to elaborate. We both know what it means. I did it again. All because I couldn't hold myself. I could've convinced Fumihiro. I could've done something...more.

'If he hates me,' I say, placing my hands behind my back as I cannot accept Eien's offer to console me, 'then I deserve it. I deserve punishment.' I deserve to die. I don't dare to say it out loud. Not because I don't believe it. I just don't want to upset Eien.

'Mister Evans, you have to apologise. You have to accept the consequence of your action.'

'I know...'

'By which, I mean, you should stop degrading yourself. Do not make it about you. Take responsibility.' He sighs. I can see that this talk is taking too much toll on him. 'I am aware that we were all victims of Yamato-sama's plan, but your action was all you.' For the first time, his voice is laced with a new tone. A tone that shouldn't be there. A tone that will never leave my dreams. Disappointment. Anger.

I grip my knees, I grit my teeth. This shouldn't be happening. Just when I thought this kid would be the only one who wouldn't see me as a monster...Here he is, telling me what to do as if he knows what it feels like; as if he knows my history.

'Do you resent me?' I ask. Oh God, please don't make him answer that. It'll kill me if he says yes.

Once again, I feel his hand on top of my head. 'No, Mister Evans. I will never resent you. I know you are a good person. But sometimes, good people do bad things. That doesn't mean we should stop being good, though. We can learn from our mistakes.' He ruffles my hair with so much tenderness that it almost makes me forget how he sounded like a few seconds ago.

'What if he doesn't accept my apology?'

'Then so be it,' he answers.

'Well, that's fair, but it'll be difficult for me to accept that. You see, as a Christian, forgiveness is a big thing for us.'

'Do you easily forgive those who wrong you, then?' His inquiry takes me aback.

I didn't expect him to say that let alone think about it. But then he's right. I'm aware of how hypocritical we all can be. But that's part of being a human.

'I don't expect him to forgive me instantly. I'm just worried he won't forgive me...ever.'

For the first time ever since I got here, Eien smiles at me. 'Do not worry, Mister Evans. It might take a long time, but I am sure Watanabe-kun will forgive you. He's a kind person deep inside.'

* * * *

Ally hasn't called me, which means Mum hasn't told him yet that we've had another fight. I have this urge to call him, to confirm to myself there is another person, aside from Eien, who won't hate me no matter what. The only thing that's holding me back is his son. My uncle's priority is no longer on me, and I can't blame him for that.

So as soon as I got back to my room, I tried to cry. Unfortunately, my eyes remained dry.

I'm so tired. I'm just sat here on the floor, my head resting against the bed's frame, my mind occupied with the possibility that Fumihiro might lose his hand. Part of me says it wouldn't matter if he forgives me someday, his hand would still be gone, and I caused that.

'Ding-dong...' I jump, suddenly aware that someone has been rapping on the door. Momentarily, I mistake that person as Eien since he's the only person I know who sings 'ding-dong' whenever he's knocking. But the voice doesn't belong to him. It's deep and lazy.

'Noritaka!' I say as soon as I open the door.

'Hello,' he greets. In his hand is a big brown bag. 'I came here to give you this. My mother made it. It's good for one week.'

'Oh,' I say, accepting it. 'What's this?'

'Some sweets. Biscuits, especially the dove-shaped ones. She said you liked them.'

'That's true. I really do like them. Why don't you come in?'

He shakes his head. 'Actually, I'm heading to my father. I just thought to drop by first.'

'Your dad?'

Noritaka shyly dips his head, obscuring his face with his long fringes. I was surprised he was allowed to keep his hair long since I'd read Zone 1 has a list of required haircuts for students. Then again, our school prides itself on being inclusive. 'Yes. I've decided to spend some time with him.'

My forehead wrinkles. The way he talks... tells me that he is yet to find out what had occurred last night. Poor Noritaka. He's always caught up in situations he didn't ask for. This is for the best. He's mustered the courage to face one of his fears, and I'm not going to ruin it for him.

So I smile widely and give him a tight hug. Noritaka doesn't hug back at first, but then he wraps me in his arms. Warmth spreads in my chest. I can't believe how I badly need a hug today.

'That's wonderful! I mean-you go have fun, OK?' I say as I pull back.

Noritaka nods. 'I will. Uchiyama-kun was right. My parents may have stopped loving each other—' he rubs his hands together, the excitement and nervousness in his eyes resonate within me. '—but their love for me will never be gone. I'll thank him tomorrow.'

I hold the doorframe, clenching it as I nod. 'OK. See you.'

He waves and runs off towards the lift.