The djinn floated there for a few seconds and looked around at everybody.
"... What?" He finally said in a deep hoarse voice.
"Uhm... What?" Luigi said. Like Shrek and Mario, he seemed a little afraid too. But Luigi was better at hiding it.
"You guys summoned me?"
"Yeah."
"You guys summoned... Me?"
"Well... Yeah."
The djinn sighs. "Great." He softly places a skeletal palm on his forehead. "Not Italians..." He frustratedly whispered. "What do you idiots want?" He says out loud.
"We want you to resurrect Baljeet." Shrek says.
"Who? Actually, I don't care. I'm just glad none of you asked for infinite bitches. Or infinite coochie."
"People ask for that?"
"Yeah. I don't know what they do with those, but I really don't want to know. Anyway, where's Bald kid?"
"Baljeet." Shrek corrected.
"Right, yeah, whatever."
Shrek uncovers the two halves of Baljeet.
The Djinn's eyes go up. "Holy shit. What did you do to him?"
"Humans and ogres can't really... Mate."
"Uh... I can see that..." The ghul scratches his hood uncomfortably. "Uh... Right, well, anyway." He waves his hand over the two pieces of Baljeet. The two pieces rise up and then click together like two puzzle pieces.
Once Baljeet reformed, he saw two Italian men, one wearing a red cap and a doctor's coat with visible blue overalls underneath and the other wearing the same outfit just in a green color minus the doctor's coat on top.
Then he saw the djinn. Baljeet screamed and ran. The djinn had suddenly grown legs and was in the middle of pulling his pants down. "Shit... You never told me Bald kid was hot."
If Shrek's magnum cock was disturbing, the djinn's was worse. Not only was it three times the size of Shrek's, it was twice as wide. It was an entire silo with an opening at the top. Sadly, unlike a silo, there wouldn't be any food coming out of that. Well, not that kind of food anyway.
"Hey! Baljeet is mine!" Shrek says, picking up Baljeet and putting him behind his back.
If Baljeet had to choose between the Djinn and Shrek, he'd rather choose Shrek. Though, either wasn't a good option.
"Heyyy... What did you say your name was?"
"I didn't."
"Ok, well, green guy. Think about this... There's four of us and one of him."
"Well he's really small."
"Hm. You know what? You have a good point. Listen, I know a couple guys. We can get him bigger. It'll be fun. During and after."
"Wait..." Mario interjects. "So we're going to follow a djinn now, to make Baljeet bigger, so that we can have a fivesome?"
"Yeah. If you guys are down." The djinn added, with a smile. "If not, I am more powerful than you so I guess I can just..."
"Wait! We'll go." Shrek says. There were no objections from Luigi and Mario.
"Great! Pack your bags. We're going to a buddy of mine. He lives over on Olympus."
The sentence was thrown so casually Mario almost didn't catch it. "Wait... You mean Mount Olympus?"
"Yeah. It's right outside the Tri-State Area, don't you know?"
Mario doesn't have a response. He nervously twiddles with his fingers.
"Ok, doesn't matter. Let's go to Olympus so we can fuck Bald kid."
YOU ARE READING
Shrek's Sacrifice
FanfictionShrek, the all-holy lord of the Tri-State Area, chooses Baljeet as his new sacrifice. But they soon discover, their love for each other may be too strong. This is literally the dumbest thing I've ever made. A eleven part epic of two lovers. edit: pl...