Shrek's Sacrifice

Part 9 - Through the Gates of Hell We Go

The four of them were making their way over through the door and going beyond into a desolate desert.

"Where are we?" The Ghul asks, looking around. "It's completely dead out here."

"I'm guessing you haven't been on Earth in over a thousand years." Shrek says matter-of-factly. "It was overrun by krabs. I ran away to the Tri-State Area where most of the humans went. It's one of the only places on Earth humans can still live."

"Where are the krabs then?"

"I don't know. Maybe we're just too big."

The Ghul shrugs, realizing he didn't care.

"Alright. We've had an onion and a door. What's next?"

The mushroom appears in front of them again. "How about Hell?"

Shrek looks confused. "We already said we don't want Heaven. We don't want Hell either."

"Oh, you think this is a choice? You have to go through this gate if you want to pass to Olympus."

"But why?" 

"Because, you didn't take Heaven. That was the easy way out. Don't you know? In life you always have to take the easy decisions."

Mario frowns. "I think there's something wrong with that... But ok. I'm all for us going to Hell." Mario gestures at Shrek. Shrek comes closer to Mario. "If we Naruto run we can ditch the green loser." Luigi nods as well. Little did they know, Luigi had super sonic hearing, or, as his grandma called it, "cancer". She always said he heard so well it'd kill him.

The Ghul was entirely oblivious. "The fuck you mean we have to go to Hell though? I came from Hell. Can I not give these three a pass?"

"Those aren't the mushroom rules."

"Fuck you and your mushroom rules."

Mario raises his index finger. "Wait. Let's just go." Mario winks at him. The Ghul nods. He knew what was about to go down.

"Ok, on my mark." Mario says, getting into his running position.

"What is... Why..." The mushroom was confused.

"When I say so, close the door. Okay?"

"Uh... Ok."

"Ready... Set... Go!" On the word go, Shrek, Mario, Luigi and the Ghul raced toward the Gates of Hell.

Mario shot right through the Gate. Luigi tried to as well, but Shrek blocked him. Just as Shrek was about to enter, Luigi pulls the ole' Luigi Roundhouse Kick™ and smacks Shrek right in the pepperonis. Luigi throws himself into the Gates, proud that he'd just ditched the green loser.

Shrek was on the ground still recovering and the Ghul was confused because he thought they were going to juke the Gates.

"I guess I close it now?" The mushroom really didn't know what had just happened. And neither did anyone else.

Mario, from inside Hell, starts screeching at Luigi because he actually managed to get inside before Shrek did.

"YOU GREEN PIECE OF SHIT-" Mario was as red as his suit. Luigi could hear almost nothing. He wondered if this had anything to do with his cancer.

Back on the surface, Shrek gets up and meets eyes with the Ghul. "What do we do now?" He asks.

"Well... I think the most important thing right now is Bald Kid. Where is he?"

"He is..." Shrek pats his pockets. "Oh, that's right. Mario probably has him. Wait... Did Mario even remake Baljeet?"

A moment of silence passes between the two as they think back. It was only a few moments ago, but it was the hardest thing they've ever had to remember.