THE SECRETS WE KEEP.

- ALL THE PAIN AND STRIFE (PART 1).

hey everybody! i hope this week is going okay for you all and that this saturday is good for you! i don't have too much to say about this chapter if i'm honest but i really did love writing it (is it just me as a writer who enjoys the drama part as well as the cuteness?!). anyway, i hope you all enjoy it and can let me know what you think! stay safe🤍

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DIANNES POV:
Ah, Tuesday - just a regular day, an inevitable part of a boring week for most, that lingering reminder of only three days left until another well-earned break from work pressures and daily life worries greets us with its presence once again. It would be a lie to admit that, even considering the help that powered off machine bearing the awakening goods could provide, braving outside of these four surrounding walls of protectiveness to the risking frostbite London morning chill was an easy task so early, for those pesky weekend blues couldn't shift just yet and had to continue their mood controlling game for however many days to come. My usual routine, no matter whether it's pounding down with raindrops or beams of sunlight are ripping through the glass or if a a certain day pops up on the calendar, it stays with no changes. It begins with the regain of that consciousness sleep had seized from me in the night to the unwanted sounding of a phone alarm by my head, the immediate pondering debate over the impact of a five minute doze occurs before the ruling had been decided - a strong hard no. In response to this choice, my feet slip out of the bed to take those first few steps across the cold hardwood to reach the heavenly destination where the gallons of brewing coffee lies, the one place to get me geared up for the day ahead. However, recently the pondering hasn't been allowed and the coffee machine has been left untouched as the unmotivated Dianne just lays there in a slumped pit feeling incomplete.

Without wasting another precious moment spent in absence of a certain roof-thatching dancer from my brain, I unwillingly dangled my legs over the edge of the bed awaiting the wood nipping at the tops of my toes in signal for myself to take the short venture into the bathroom. Beginning my routine of brushing my teeth and turning on the straighteners by the plug, a quick check of the date and a glance down provided a much-needed explanation to my clingy behaviour. "Oh no.." That one spot of vermilion was just enough to tip my build up upset over the edge to uncover a helpless Dianne, the image of myself in a state of tears on a toliet seat over one silly boy who at the end of the day doesn't want me continually swirled around my head until it was possible to draw it with even my eyes shut. The only thing to stop an inevitable tumble down into the world of unknown feelings was the beeping of the straighteners ready to be in use, this yet another believable signal from an inanimate object that it was time to get ready. In a few seconds flat all supplies necessary had been pulled from each and every drawer to be used and now I was back in front of the mirror, utilising the precision required once applying this level of heat as a way of distracting myself from the empty quietness surrounding me. The many of times I've opened my eyes to the familiar sight of Joe's bedroom with the realisation that it was another morning of being lost in the foreign territory of a man's bathroom, it provided a completely different experience than when alone. Through the doorway, it was certain there would always be some form of commotion happening - either Joe is singing along to one of his 80s ballads or Byron is preparing his special breakfast downstairs. While many think these interruptions on concentration may put you off staying another night, it turned this usually mundane activity into an exciting memory to cherish.

Another activity ticked off the list, now it was the moment of outfits. A training day consists of comfort clothes, nothing too fashionable. In reality your partner has seen it all, looking your best during a performance and at your worst after a long day confined to one room, so really all you need is a pair of active leggings and a light shirt that is easy to dance in. With time running out fast, in my hand was a travel bag with all essential makeup items any girl could need as I flew down that staircase just in time to catch the clearly moody driver minutes before he would have taken the decision to give up. Our greeting was speedy and awkward before he sped off in the direction of the studios and travelled farther from the easing environment of the apartment building. This twenty minute journey was my opportunity to apply a light dusting of concealer and foundation to the dark circles bunched under my eyes and my blood-ridden cheeks from the instant impact of the cold air. In his rearview mirror I managed to catch a glimpse of how I would be seen, my stomach fluttering with nervous butterflies knowing that the end destination was not it's normal warm and fussy, it was a constant awkward atmosphere surrounding us that no offering up of money could provide to force a extended stay longer than necessary.