THE SECRETS WE KEEP.

- WALTZING AWAY WITH MY HEART (PART 2).

JOES POV:
Waiting for a missing in action Dianne behind those terrifying steps, caused a bubbling sick feeling to form in the pit of my stomach. After my childlike tantrum just hours prior to now, there was that possibility that this could be the final I do with Dianne on this very floor. I was overcome with guilt and shame at my behaviour That intense sensation of guilt from the fear of not being able to give Dianne the Strictly journey she deserved. Without any consideration I ran from that stage in a total panic. I not only let her down, I embarrassed her, for everybody to see. But the words she shouted to me continued to tumble around in my head, the serious tone of her speech ramming it into my brain. What she said caught me completely off guard and shocked me to the core, considering past experiences where I could consider her my biggest cheerleader. Since first week Dianne has always been a huge support system for me. She has always been the person to cheer me on when I failed, to make me laugh when a dance was getting me down, to encourage me when I felt like giving up for good. But now, it felt that the motivational girl I had known, had broken down her demeanour and was showing her true feelings. Not only was it Dianne. Usually the backstage area would be a positive place to be, full of crew and cast members hyping each other up and giving you boosts of confidence minutes before you go on. This week it felt as though nobody here had any faith in me, not even my dance partner.

Out of thin air the small petite frame of Dianne came running to my side, as she grasped onto my forearm for dear life."Joe.. I cant apologise to you enough. What I said earlier was so wrong and-and.. I'm so so sorry-" Her continuous apologises drowned out, my gaze focusing on the perfect yet so simple view in front of me. The draping materials, which previously would had swayed along while we had danced, had been removed to leave her arms bare of any fabric. Her dress was long and flowing to her ankles, coloured a shade of mint green that complimented perfectly with the natural dusting of makeup across her face. The once dark roots were now a blinding red hue, before being pulled back into some sort of fancy up-do with a name I had no idea of. My hands itched her to touch, to hold her so tight and never let go. My lips urged to taste hers once more, for just one small moment.

Walking back on stage to see the spot, the exact spot where I froze out fear, that spot where I let down the most important person to me, churned the nerves in my stomach around like butter. My whole body trembled in goosebumps at even the mention of our names. "I'm proud of you regardless, okay? Whatever happens out there, I've enjoyed every second of this with you.." Those were the last whispered attempt to motivate me from Dianne before we sat apart on the moss-ridden log. From the first note to play, until the final camera pans from our view, our relationship would be purely professional, teacher and student, nothing more than that. Every passionate kiss.. the lingering hugs.. our backstage subtle flirting.. became non-existent to this audience. We were nothing more than any other couple here. But with the amorous feeling with the song, blended with the usually intimate style of dance, where our bodies constantly collided in a close proximity, made it even more difficult to hide my growing feelings for Dianne Buswell. Even with the innocence of everybody here about our relationship, it couldn't stop that strong urge to shout at the top of my lungs, on how I was falling in love, for the very first time, with Dianne Buswell.

"I know they're wrong, wait and see.." The palms of her hands rounded around the inbended curve at the back of my neck, supporting her body against mine as we twirled in a perfect circle. To glance down I was met by those mesmerising, hazel eyes which hypnotised me into oblivion. A wave of confidence flew over my whole body, knocking out every doubt in my head on its journey. "Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.." Her back pressed against my chest, her hand cupping the side of my neck. Out of the corner of my eye the infamous Dianne smile could be spotted, despite my hard attempts to concentrate on the routine and not my beautiful dance partner swaying in my arms. But that smile; that smile could draw you in like a sweet display in the shop window. It was like a childhood memory, or a warm cup of tea after a cold winter walk, it could comfort you in a way that nothing else ever could. "The lovers, the dreamers, and me.." With tears beginning to pool in the corners of my eyes, I took my seat for the final few notes next to Dianne, back where we started, on the log. The audience reaction of loud cheering and out of unison clapping made it really sink it; I just finished my waltz, with no stopping or freezing. Not only did I do this for my mum and nan, who were jumping up and down in joy over at the side, or my new found friends, who were shouting my name from the clauditorium, I did this for Dianne. Even if those feelings I had for her scared me, I wasn't going to let them interfer with our partnership and her passion for dancing. Seeing her in her element, on stage, full of happiness, every doubt and every worry was worth it.. just for her.