THE SECRETS WE KEEP.

- THATCHING TO STAY.

JOES POV:
After last weeks fiasco, I made sure to get to Elstree early, meaning it was basically just me and the professionals there. I didn't mind it, there would be less rushing around and panicking before the show and I could also get some quiet time in my dressing room to go through the piles of mail all the fans have been sending in. This week Dianne had three routines to perform - our charleston, the group dance and a performance to George Ezra with Kevin. I couldn't wait to see her dance, it's one thing to be teaching someone like me how to dance but to see her with a professional would be exciting. She was such an amazing and talented dancer who, out of everyone here, deserved the chance to show everyone at home how talented she really is. But I may be a little biased. Kevin is also becoming like a big brother to me here, he is always there when you need a pick up or even just a chat.

I could notice how much more comfortable everyone was getting with me vlogging, some were still a bit wary and tried to stay out of shot. It must of been a new experience for some of them, having a camera thrown in your face 24/7 is something that takes some getting used to. Since I was the first YouTuber to be on the show, I really wanted to vlog a lot of the experience and give my viewers an insight into what happens backstage. Even if some of them watched the show before, they wouldn't have the real backstage experience that I was hoping to give across to them.

Now I was sitting by the stage with Vick and Stacey, two people who I have become very close to over the past couple of weeks. Stacey and I met properly at the launch show, she was just as nervous as I was and we made a right pair! She was partnered with Kevin, who was close to Dianne so it all worked out great. We were waiting for the professionals to come on stage in their outfits, something I looked forward to every week. It was one thing to be dressed up for your own routine but to see everyone else's costumes and what the designers had come up with was as exciting. They were dancing to Believer by Imagine Dragons. Dianne had shown me a small part of it on her phone but didn't let me see anything more until the show. They all came out onto the stage with no lights shining on them, the room going pitch black. Watching all of them dance together was an amazing sight - the choreography pulled together flawlessly, they all moved in unison with one another, no one was any beats behind. 'God Joe, stop being so dramatic' I thought as I stood up and applauded them.

As soon as I sat down in my seat, a small squeal came from behind me. The persons arms wrapped around my neck, turning their head slightly to look at me. "Hey Joseph.." I heard the sweet Australian voice drawl on, Vick and Stacey noticing a moment and immediately leaving. Now it was just the two of us. Diannes arms left my neck and she placed herself down on the chair beside me, my eyes falling straight to her outfit. I couldn't help but gaze, feeling my jaw drop slightly. She was now changed into a short denim dress with pastel pink converse to match, her fiery red locks in two braids from the top of her head. She looked beautiful and I could not deny that, the whole team had done an amazing job on making her look the part. "Dianne you look.. wow" I said, a smile coming to my face when I noticed a small red blush come to her cheeks, something not even the makeup could hide. I knew that the whole time she was dancing, my eyes would not leave her for a second.

—

At the beginning of this experience, I thought that before the shows I would be calm and collected, I would be ready for it. Nothing could be further from what I imagined. The lights on you, the constant worry of a camera catching your glance, the watching every step incase you took a tumble - this could really send someone into a state. What made it worse was waiting backstage with everyone. I had seen their dances from camera blocking and every week, I seemed to feel even more self conscious about ours. The more I watched Fayes footwork or Dr Ranjs energy, it made my heart beat fast. As much as I had tried to brush it from my memory, I knew that by the end of tonight someone would be going home. I hoped that it would not be us, I would be gutted to leave so early and not get to show everyone the "real potential" Dianne continues to talk about. The feeling of letting everyone down, my family and my friends and Dianne, was something that was too hard to handle. My family had been watching this show for years, even though they had no faith in my ability to go far, they wanted to see me give it a good go. My friends were the same, as well as my fans. It would be a shame to let them down after they hyped up this journey so much. But the real person I would be worried about is Dianne. She has worked so hard with me, she puts so much effort into our routines and trying to perfect them to suit me, that she deserves to go the whole way. This is now my goal, to get the whole way to the end. For Dianne.