THE SECRETS WE KEEP.

- NO HOLDING BACK (PART 2)

DIANNES POV:
My lips left his and our foreheads lay rested against each other's, breathless chuckles coming from both of us. Our eyes were locked in an intense gaze as I stared into his deep ocean-like ones, the type that could draw you in with one glance. His lips against mine made me feel complete and like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Now it was just to tell him all of these feelings. Noticing me staring intently sent a hue of red spreading across his cheeks; like a face would turn on a hot summers day. The side of his lip twitched holding back the smile as he pulled back from our embrace and held onto the side of his door. With this being a silent invitation, I let myself inside and took a seat down on the edge of his bed. 

He shut the door and made his way over to sit beside me on the bed, his facial expression sending me a mental message to start talking. "I started to convince myself I didn't have feelings for you whenever Anthony and I were still together" I explained as my gaze dropped down to my lap, my hands beginning to fidget with each other out of nervousness. "But that night, when you saw us kissing in the hallway, all I wanted to do was go after you."

I exhaled sharply after my speech and started to pick off my nail polish finger by finger until I had a pile of red clippings lying on my lap. It felt as though, by telling him all of this, a load had been taken off of my chest. All of this feelings I had been bottling up for the past few weeks I had finally set free. With Anthony and I's relationship, we had tried all we could to make it work. But the distance between us constantly made everything feel so lonely. I would see all of the professionals and celebrities around Strictly with their photographed dressing rooms and phone lockscreens of the person they loved. Knowing that they get to go home to a house with that person made my heart ache to be with Anthony. It also didn't help that my feelings for Joe were growing by the minute.

As much as my feelings for Joe were confusing, one thing was for certain. I was happier with him in my life. That didn't mean that I wasn't happy with Anthony. It just meant that, with Joe around, things didn't feel so lonely. When I would go home to my empty apartment, a text message would come through from Joe and we would talk the entire night. At Elstree, my bare dressing room was always filled with the loud laughs of Joe cracking up at some joke he had told. It seemed as if he was always there to make that lonely feeling cripple away into nothing again. My stomach always hurts from laughing too much, my cheeks always burn from the amount of smiling. The famous butterflies every girls talks about were there with Joe. I now knew how real they were and how none of these girls made this up.

He still sat as quiet as a mouse beside me, most likely still in shock from what I had just said. Interrupting my internal thoughts was his hand enclosed with me as the fidgeting stopped immediately. Neither of us flinched or spoke a word. It was complete silence. But by reading the room you knew that we felt the same. This felt right. I lifted my eyes from my lap to look at him, when, he was already staring, leading to our eyes meeting in a gaze. We mirrored each other as a small smile appeared on both our lips. One of content and happiness. Looking at him like this, knowing that now he knew how I felt, made all sorts of new feelings appear. That was, until it hit me. "Olivia.. I mumbled quietly, my smile turning to a frown as I shuffled away from him which left a gap of bed between us.

He was quick to shuffle back to me, which only resulted in me standing from the bed making me even further from him than before. Instead of standing, he let his head fall down to his feet, the obvious disappointment evident in his body language. "What about Olivia?" He asked me quietly, a hint of confusion in his voice. "Why did you kiss me if you and Olivia are.. you and her?" Hearing myself say that hurt me more than I expected it would. Knowing that he could still be going on dates with this girl and now I've kissed him made me feel a sick feeling in my stomach. But to keep my cool, I crossed my arms over my chest and sent him a glare, one mixed with confused and annoyed. My eyebrows were furrowed where the right one was raised slightly.

"I understand if you're still interested in seeing her" My cool exterior broke and my head dropped down my feet in shame. Even the thought of a rejection from Joe, after all I had explained and feelings I had set free, made me feel sick to my stomach. My nervous habit of picking off my nail polish returned as the coloured droppings fell down onto the carpet below. "But if you are, I cannot go on any further. I cannot let myself fall in love with you" My heart stopped beating for a moment. The realisation hit both of us at what I just said. I was falling in love with Joe. And I just admitted it to his face. Both of our eyes widened to make us look bug-like, both of us freezing on the spot.

An unbearable few minutes of silence passed by and the only noise was the tick-tocking of the wall clock. Neither of us moved or made a sound, both still in shock over what I just admitted. I eventually lifted my gaze from my feet to look at Joe, hoping to myself that maybe he would be looking too. But of course, that was wishful thinking. Seeing his blank expression made tears form in my eyes, putting together all the strength I had to hold them back. "Joe?" My voice broke slightly as I spoke using all of the courage I could not to try right there and then. 'Maybe he really doesn't care' I pondered over this thought as I watched him pull the same blank expression over and over. I gave up on the chance of him responding and made my way over to the door only to be stopped by a hand grasping mine and turning me around.

My body bumped against his as I was pulled into his chest, his arms wrapping around me in a tight embrace. A wave of confusion crossed over my face when Joe placed his forehead against mine, his fingers under my chin to lift my gaze to meet his eyes. "Olivia and I could never be me and her while you were around" Every part of me went on pause after making out his whisper. Before I could speak, his other hand was cupped around my cheek. He placed his lips onto mine once again, a rush of warmth running throughout my whole body. My eyes were shutting over slowly while I could feel myself smile into the kiss. And finally, something in my life was now clicking into place.

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thank you everyone for reading this chapter! i'm sorry if it's a little shorter than my usual ones, this was just meant to be an ending to the previous one i wrote! i hope you enjoyed it anyway, i'd like to do a few more cute soft chapters of joe and dianne together in the future! if you have any ideas for what i could do to make it more interesting for you, feel free to let me know! the next one will come soon :)