Fiasco

Chapter 16

Ivans pov

I had gotten up that morning and checked my instagram, I was going through some of the martinators posts when
y/n's post came on my time-line, I read the caption and I immediately felt like staying home and crying into my pillow, I put my phone down and layed in my bed and stared at the ceiling, I was getting engaged to Audra. How was I meant to stand at the alter and say "I do" when y/n was out there waiting for me, or maybe she's moved onto Luke... Emilio walked in and could tell I wasn't feeling the best.

Emilio: "Ivan you okay?"
Ivan: "it's y/n, she posted something on her Instagram about her spending the night with Luke instead of me."
Emilio: "you know that y/n loves you, she loves you too much to hurt you let alone replace you."
Ivan: "but I've done so much to her in the short time we've known each other, maybe it's best if I stay away from her."
Emilio : "ivan-"
Ivan: "it's fine, y/n deserves better."

I got up and had a shower, I went downstairs and saw Audra making a video, she saw me and waved me over to record me.

Audra: "babyyyy!"
Ivan: "morning."

She threw her arms around me and leaned in to kiss me, I turned my face sideways so she would kiss my cheek, I looked at her ring finger, it had a diamond ring that should be y/n's. God I'm such a fuck up. I stayed home for most the day and decided to go for a walk during the sunset.

I was staring at the floor when somebody bumped into my chest, I immediately threw my arms out to catch them and make sure they didn't fall I looked down and it was
y/n. The sun on her skin made her look like a goddess, if only I could throw myself onto her and forget the damn contracts and significant others. We stared into each other's eyes for a while, it felt like there were sparks flying, everything disappeared around me and I was focused on y/n's beautiful and mesmerizing eyes. She got up and dusted herself, I wanted to hug her and ask if she was okay, but after what happened, I think if it's best we don't act lovey dovey in public.

Ivan: "y/n." i must've sounded like an absolute dick being so serious, her brows furrowed in confusion, she must be wondering why I'm not showering her with love like she deserves.

Y/n: "Ivan!" she wrapped me in a hug and I wanted wrap her in my arms knowing she was safe, I pulled away and I saw the sadness and shock in her eyes, I can't stand seeing her like this.

Y/n: "I heard you're getting engaged..."
Ivan: "you know about that?"

How did she know I was getting engaged, I never wanted her to know in case she doubted me or us.

Y/n : "well yeah especially when Audra personally invited me..."
Of course Audra did, she wants to see y/n's everything being torn away from her and y/n not being able to do anything, why did I ever agree to anything.

Ivan: "well I'll see you there."
I said coldly, how was I meant to keep my focus on the party when y/n would be there.

I pushed past her and carried on walking, everything inside of me was saying to turn around and pull her in and kiss her but I can't. She grabbed my wrist and i turned around to look at her.

Y/n: "Ivan are you mad at me?"
As if I could ever be mad her, she's so angelic and perfect.
Ivan: "you tell me."

Y/n: "if it's about the post and Luke I need you to know that there's nothing going on between us, I asked him to hang since I was lonely last night and we ended up just accidentally sleeping nothing more. You know my heart belongs to you."
Our hearts belong to one another yet there's everything keeping us apart.

Ivan: "I'm not mad at Luke y/n, it's just why couldn't you come to me, talk to me, hang with me and watch movies with me not him."
Y/n: "you really think I wanted to see you after I found out you're getting engaged?"
Ivan: "I guess that's reasonable."
Y/n: "well?"
Ivan: "what?"
Y/n: " do you still love me?" 

I was taken back, I love her with everything inside of me but the fact she was even willing to carry on loving me after everything and when she could've dated Luke. She stared at me waiting for a response, I couldn't carry on fucking up and end up hurting her.

Ivan: "no y/n, I'm engaged that should say enough, it was just a few nights we never dated."
My heart shattered saying that, I was lying with every breath to the girl I wanted to spend my life with. Her eyes teared up and she couldn't get a single word out of herself.

Y/n:" really ivan? Your on my mind like a song I can't escape, when I look in your eyes I see everything I want and need, I fall asleep and wake up with you on my mind, even though I thought you loved me I still fall in love again and again every time I see you and it gets hard to breathe and even form sentences around you, well then Ivan, if that's how you're going to be, I'm not in love it's just a game with you. Have a good marriage with Audra, as of now we're complete strangers."

Thats the first time she's ever told me how she feels, she's so in love with me and not the fame or money, fuck everything, the press, the fame, the opinions of people, I need her.