Teardrops of An Angel

Chapter 18

Hiroki Yoshiro

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga as I took a one last glance of Yessa's remains, her eyes were closed, her lips were sealed but I can see a small curve of it -showing she was happy, and not sad -huminga ako ng malalim bago pumikit, a tear from my cheeks fell on her deathbed, gusto ko siyang hilain at yakapin ngunit may hadlang na salamin.

But I have to let her go, like how she did to me when I gripped her arms.

***

Right now, I am just staring at her name on her grave -with Pachoy on my side looking gloomy as well.

YESSA JAYCEE
born: March 20, 1997 died: May 29, 2015
MAY GOD'S GRACE BE WITH YOU.

"Hijo..." napatingala ako mula sa aking pagkakaupo, nakita ko ang papa ni Yessa, si Tito Dreig.

"Po?"

Ngumiti siya at may kinapa siya sa kanyang bulsa, "she told me to give you this when time comes..." nilahad niya sa akin ang isang... diary.

It was her old diary... containing everything about her, nanlaki ang aking mga mata sabay punas ng mga luha. That contains her life.

Kinuha ko na lang ang diary at binuklat ito, on the second to the last page was my name...

March 20, 2015
Hiroki gave me a cute puppy named Pachoy, sana alagaan niya ng mabuti si Pachoy kung hindi, mumultuhin ko siya kapag mawawala na ako sa mundong ito.

I secretly smiled, a wind flew to me, napapikit na lang ako at dinama ito, it was a familiar feeling, so nostalgic, I feel this intense deja vu, it is like she is hugging me through the air, it is like I can't see her but I can feel her presence.

I turned to the last page of her diary.

This is finally the last page, everything ends here. Like my life that will soon come to an end. I am so happy to meet my 'the one' and my 'prince', he is Hiroki Yoshiro, my one and only prince... minsan ko nang napagkamalang Hiroka, Hiroki pala.

Hi Hiro! My super hero. :D
Siguro sa oras na mababasa mo ito ay wala na ako sa tabi mo, siguro sa oras na mababasa mo ito ay isa na akong bagong bitwin sa kalangitan, don't be sad dahil wala na ako, don't waste your tears so much on a person who is already gone, remember what you told me when we were in the amusement park? Keep smiling. Don't cry. Kaya naman kapag mawawala na ako, ngingiti ako, hindi ako iiyak, those were your words.

I want you to know how much you meant to me, you are my everything... you are the reason why I'll cry my last teardrop, you are the reason why my heart continues to beat... because it beats your name, you gave me new light, new hope, you became a way for me on how to live when dying, I am so happy for the memories that we shared together, these memories are now part of the history, the past, and part of who we are and what made us... us, I am happy to accept death knowing there's someone who'll cry for me when I let go of what I am gripping. I know I have to set you free, that's love.

I'm so thankful for everything you've done to me like making me feel special... being a shield that is always protecting me, and thank you for loving me.

I once asked myself, how do I live when I am dying?

The answer is simply by releasing every teardrops you have to those who are worth crying for, the answer is simply by making your heart beat the names of those whom you loved, in that way, you know that you're still alive, you know that you still have feelings and these feelings are a sign that you are not yet dead.

You became an answer to me.

Hiro, I love you... forever... even in my endless sleep, my heart will continue to beat your name as how your heart continues to beat mine.

I'll be your star that twinkles brightly in the sky, and someday might come and I'll become a falling star, I hope you catch me when it comes. If that does not happen, maybe we can meet again on the afterlife.

I hope... you won't forget me even in my sleep. I'm letting you go now, Tabachoy kong macho. :p mahal kita, mahal na mahal. <3

Nagsituluan ang mga luha ko kasabay ng pagkulog ng kalangitan, it was a gloomy and dark day, the heavens really feel my mourn.

Tumingala ako and I saw light within the clouds, "I love you..." Bulong ko sabay yakap sa diary.

"Arf! Arf!" Rinig kong tahol ni Pachoy.

Nginitihan ko siya at pinat sa ulo, "Pachoy, say goodbye to your Mommy..." malungkot na sabi ko sa kanya.

"Arr... raf! Arf... arr!"

Napangiti na lang ako sabay alis sa sementeryo habang nakahawak sa tali ni Pachoy...

I took a last stray glance at her grave and I saw her waving at me, as if bidding a goodbye, I closed my eyes knowing it was just my imagination...

A wind flew past me before I walked away from the place where she lies.

Rest in peace, Yessa Jaycee. I'm letting you go too.

***