Everything She Wanted

32 Heartbeat

"W-what?" nautal ako. I could not believe my ears.

"Hyperemesis Gravidarum. You're pregnant, Cara. You didn't know?" Rina, AG's girlfriend asked cautiously. Wala na akong ibang nasabi. My mind was in a jumble, I was a mess, and I was fucking pregnant. Yes, because of fucking. Fuck!

I covered my mouth with my hand. Di ko alam anong una kong gustong gawin: himatayin, sumuka, maiyak. Rina seemed to catch on to what was about to happen. She immediately dropped my chart, grabbed the empty plastic bag on the mayo tray, and shoved it in front of me just before I spilled my guts out. She rubbed my back as I continued to retch kahit na wala na akong naisusuka.

I remembered retching until I passed out the night before. I was already admitted in a private room when I regained consciousness. AG asked his girlfriend, an internal medicine resident senior, to check on me. She ordered a battery of tests, none of which I cared to know about that time. I just wanted whatever was needed to be done kasi pagod na akong laging sumusuka, na puro na lang pagkain pinagbibintangan. Sobra-sobrang kamalasan ko naman kung pati cup noodles at crackers na food poisoning pa ako.

Dahil kaya sa milk tea na ininom ko kaninang tanghali? That was my last thought before everything turned black.

Now, everything made sense. Minsan lang ako na food poisoning. The rest of the time it was because of my hormones.

"I'll give you another dose of anti-emetic now, if OB says it's okay. You should keep hydrated and eat something. I know mahirap, but you know that you're supposed to do it. It's for your health and for your baby's." she told me gently as she tied the bag and threw it in the infectious bin. She rubbed alcohol in her hands and began writing on my chart.

"Thanks," I said. I took deep breaths to regain my calm and to help let the news settle in my head. "How long does this usually last?"

"The pregnancy or the vomiting?" she raised her brow at me, smiling. I wanted to smile back pero di ko talaga kaya. Naiyak tuloy ako.

"Oh no, I'm sorry! Bad joke, so sorry." She placed her hand on my shoulder. "The vomiting usually gradually diminishes as the first trimester progresses. Until then, you'll have to try your best to get something to eat. It's going to be hard with residency but mapapakiusapan naman ang department nyo e. Mahirap pigilan ang pagsusuka. Maybe you can ask for a leave. I've already talked to AG and Derek about this."

"Ha? Alam na nila? Nooo..."

"Sorry, they had to know. Besides, they were the ones who brought you here and sila din ang nag follow up ng labs mo. Ang unang-una nilang inalam was the pregnancy test." She explained.

Mga chismoso!

"Please don't tell my parents," I begged. I realized that I couldn't tell them right now. I need a little more time.

"Uhh...they already know, too. Nagkita dad mo and si Dr. Chavez this morning sa wards. I was there when your dad looked at the chart."