ELEVEN . tsukishima kei [✓]

#21 | dec 11th

dear kei,

it's been ??? days since i started sending you letters. did you get any of them yet? half of me is waiting for a reply but i know you probably hate me so i shouldn't hope too much. hinata-kun told me that you're doing good. i heard you're schooling at a university in miyagi? that's pretty awesome.

after i graduated and we split ways, i haven't really done anything with myself. my mom says its fine but i seriously hate it. i want to go to college and be what i wanna be, but i cant seem to catch up in anything. it's my fault for slacking off so much tbh.

i had a bagel for breakfast today but i felt sick while i was eating. it's most likely because i haven't gone outside in a while. i need some vitamin D from the sun before i get all wrinkly and old hahah.

every time i look at the sun, I think of you. is that bad? your hair is so pretty like the sun and every time you held me, it was so warm. my body fit perfectly in yours and i felt so safe with you.

you probably are enjoying yourself without me around and that's fine. you deserved endless happiness because you were my source of happiness for the past few years.

why are you so amazing?

why'd you have to be so fucking amazing? you are so perfect. everything about you is so perfect. your flaws stopped being flaws once i realized how much i loved you. what even are flaws anymore? do you have any? i highly doubt it.

your soft skin always used to rile me up. how were you born with such soft skin? the way i could pepper soft kisses along your soft skin made me love every inch of you. you were so handsome. every part of you was so damn perfect.

im just rambling about you but you really are perfect. in my eyes, there was no one else for me.

did you think the same?

i love you so much. i wanna sleep next to you. that's all i wanna do right now. i wanna come home to you but you're nowhere to be seen. i cant trust myself to ever live on my own if you aren't there.

you can scorn me. you can yell at me. you can curse me out.

just come here and hold me, please.

that sounds so sad omg. i just really miss you :( I love you so so much that i hate myself for letting a guy like you go. you should've been with me forever. i'll regret this for the rest of my life.

these letters werent supposed to be sad wtf. i just wanted to tell you how much i loved you. i don't know if you're seeing these letters but i'll still send them until you reply. please, don't ignore me

i'll be waiting for your reply <3 keeping it short once again to avoid being a nuisance heheh

i am so in love with you, kei

sincerely,
l/n f/n :)