I see his face [5] Far From Home

1- 8 months later

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It's been 8 months since my dad and Nat passed. Not much has really happene, I'm living with Pep and Morgan.Pepper took me to the doctors, I have been diagnosed with PTSD and Depression.

I'm feeling pretty shitty, obviously. I've had the same nightmare over and over again, every night. I just keep seeing the battle, on repeat.

Peter's been really supportive, Bucky's been staying round, Pepper thought I could use some company.

I miss my dad so fucking much. I miss Nat more than words can say. I still visit Steve sometimes.

Me and Parker have got a trip soon, I'm hoping it'll distract me, Pepper's a bit unsure about me going, she likes to keep an eye on me but she trusts Peter, so maybe that'll stop her worrying.

Anyways. Yeah, that's it. I just wish I could see my dad again, he left me a few recordings for if I feel like shit, so sometimes I watch them, Pepper and Bucky said that'll make me feel worse, but it calms me.

Peter gave me a few of his shirt, as a safety blanket sort of thing, he sprays his cologne on it every now and then. I don't like it, it's too strong.

I've kinda accepted the fact that yeah...I'm in love with him. I am. It's fine...I can deal with it. I try my best to keep it cool. We haven't labelled anything, we're just going with the flow really. I don't know how he feels. I'm just keeping my head down.