Geric - The Golden Edna

The Golden Edna

                                                 ERIC BIRLING RETURNS

                                                          IN THE QUEST

                                                FOR THE GOLDEN EDNA

Moist. That's how Eric would describe himself. For three months, he had been sailing across the ocean; only ever stopping in order to get supplies. But it had been six months since the worst day of his life. The day that the love of his life - Gerald Croft - was murdered by his own father while pregnant with Eric's baby. 

He had been there, frozen in place from shock and terror, only being saved by the... person? that was currently "manning" the turny spinny thing that controlled the ship's direction.

Sir Horseman the Fourth. The greatest thing that Eric had ever known. See, Horseman had been the one to shoot and rob The General, saving Eric from a life of misery. Then again, that's what a life without Gerald has been for him so far.

Eric loved thinking about the future. Thinking about what could have been - no, what will be. He's not giving up hope just yet. He will have his future with Gerald, even if it costs him the world. But still, he thinks about what their children will be called. 

Sometimes it seems like a fruitless idea to fantasise about what could've been - no, will be - but it was the only thing keeping him hopeful. The only thing that kept him determined. The only thing that kept him sane.

All throughout his childhood, Eric was raised on mythological stories of creatures and objects of great power. It fascinated him, so much so that he transcended the mortal plane and became superhuman on multiple occasions. As you do. 

But there was one artifact that he couldn't forget. A supposed item of unmitigated power, capable of toppling civilisations and putting USB sticks in correctly on the first try. Eric knew he had to find out the truth about it.

If he could find its existence, he could bring Gerald back. The light of his life. His forever love. His mega-bff. Far in the distance, Eric could see a large, looming silhouette of a woman - promptly reminding him that he was stuck inside the gender-neutral bathroom. 

He wasn't too certain when it was built, or how it was built large enough to fit an ocean, or when he entered it, but he was certain of one thing: yeah. Does that mean he's allowed to piss in the ocean? As he dwelled on the thoughts, he watched Sir Horseman swish the turny-spinny thing with dramatic flair, before diving into the ocean.

He'd grown used to this over their months of sea travel. Eric was well aware that horses typically lived underwater. It gave him more respect for Sir Horseman, after the sacrifices they had made for him. For his quest. For Gerald. 

His heart raced in his chest, blood pumping as he thought of Gerald. His unnervingly smooth shins; his long, luscious, juicy locks of hair; his miniature army of geese, of which he commanded to do his bidding.