Geric - The Golden Edna

Necromancy

"Besides, how hard can it be? It's just necromancy."

"I don't know, bro. Necromancy's pretty hard where I come from."

"What, the ocean?"

"Yeah, my brohemian rhapsody. You try lighting a fire in water."

"Not all pentagrams need fire, amateur. Some just need another living organism to convert into."

"But you need the original body for that, in top condition too. And you know damn well that I messed up and had a little nibble of Gerald before I remembered, my brother-from-a-human-mother."

Eric stood up, stretching his arms through his legs. His tight, denim short-shorts stretched slowly farther upwards, while his sequined tuxedo crop-top highlighted his superhuman muscles. He walked to the boat banister, enjoying the gentle breeze and trying to ignore how suspicious it was that this much water was in one place. That was a mystery for another day.

"I think you're over complicating it, H-man. Some of them don't need the body in top condition, just some form of DNA. Besides, you can walk on land, why not just do your necromancy up here?"

"I'm sorry, did you just say 'up here', my bromeister? You know damn well the ocean can be above your land." Horseman roared.

"I don't know damn near anything, man. Quit knocking me."

"I'm not knocking you, I'm just saying. I'd never knock you, you're my broglodyte." Horseman replied, playfully shaking their dolphin head and causing their dolphin mane to poof.

"Oh no, no you don't."

"I don't what, my Brorannasaurus Rex?" Horseman answered, laying down and resting their head on their thigh like a big cat.

"You're a fucking lion, aren't you."

"I think I'd know if I were a lion, my Brontosaurus."

"Don't kid me, I know I'm right."

"You filthy land-dwellers think you're so smart. Well, riddle me this, Bromosapien: why are we getting flushed then?"

"Oh my g-asterisk-sh!" They screamed in unison, Edna fucking dying in the process.

An ear-blistering rumble blasted through the air; the unmistakable yell of the gender-neutral toilet. They span rapidly, Eric slamming into the big boat wheel and trying to swallow as much seawater as possible to quench his thirst. Horseman dived gracefully, smashing the boat at the sides to hit it back on course. As Eric held on for dear life, the spinning started to slow, before coming to a halt. They drifted gently down the small stream, stone platforms to their side and the stench of sewers shifting to their sinuses.