more than anything

date

"Tell me about yourself" he asked, intrigued. "Well you already know i'm a designer, i grew up mostly in Boston, i don't have any relationship with my parents and i have a sister who lives in New York" she explained. "What about your friend at your house?" he wondered. "He's a great friend, i mean we met like 3 weeks ago, but we get along well, he's living with me right now" she continued. "He lives with you?" Jack asked surprised. "I've done enough talking, tell me about yourself" she smirked. "I live alone, my parents live in LA but i have a relationship with both of them, i have a brother and i'm crazy about this one girl" he smiled seductively. "Hmnn, really? tell me about this girl" her eyes twinkled. "She's blonde, about 5'6, she's a designer, and she's incredibly sexy" he whispered the last part. "Well she sounds great, maybe you should kiss her?" she suggested, "maybe i should" he leaned over the small table and connected their lips. Their tongues battles for dominance, Meredith pulled away, "i uhhh... i need to use the restroom" she stood up and hurried away, internally screaming. "shit shit shit shit shit" she whispered to herself.

She leaned against the cold marble wall, breathing heavily, it wasn't him, it wasn't anything he did, it was the fact she kissed a guy on a date and all she could think about was him. Why was she thinking about Derek Shepherd, they were just friends. She needed a distraction, she needed to get through the evening without thinking about him again.

After she convinced herself it was just because they had been spending so much time together lately, she walked out the bathroom and went back to the table.

"Sorry, i just... got hot" she sat down awkwardly. "Its okay, are you good now?" he asked, "i'm fine" she nodded. As they continued to eat dinner and talk, she kept pushing the thought of Derek to the back of hr mind.

As they left the restaurant and walked back to his car she stopped abruptly. "Jack, i had a great time, and i don't really ever do dates, and if i do i defiantly do not put out on the first one, but it's just i really like you, so would you like to come back to my place?" she asked nervous for the reply.

Most of her romantic relationships were just sex, so it wasn't foreign that they skip the getting to know one another before jumping in bed. But she needed sex to take everything of her mind, and she didn't like the idea of sleeping with another guy once she started 'dating' Jack. "I don't normally do... that on a first date either, but Meredith, i really like you, so yes, i would love that" he replied.

They drove back to Meredith's and slammed the door shut before running up the stairs to her room.

Derek heard them run upstairs and was praying they weren't going to do what he thought they were going to do. He ignored the overwhelming anger and sadness he felt, she obviously didn't have feelings for him, she was having fun with another guy.

Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse he began to hear moans, and the headboard banging the wall. Fuck. This could not be happening. He put his head in his hands and sighed, this was going to be a long night.

Meredith moaned as he pounded into her, "oh jack yes.. don't stop" despite it only being 4 days since the last time, she was reminded of how good sex really was. But he was all she could think about. His hair, his body, the way he could make her laugh or smile without fail.

She was snapped back into reality when she felt her orgasm approach, "yes.. yes" she moaned before her vision became blurred, and her orgasm took over. "That was great" he panted, rolling over and panting next to her. She felt gross, and guilty, she had just had sex with Jack and the whole time she was thinking about another guy.

Relief washed over him when they were finally finished. The moans and the banging had stopped. He was still sat downstairs on the coach, just thinking.

About 20 minutes later, she heard snores, she was sure he was asleep, so slipped out of bed and tip toed down the stairs.

"Holy crap" she gasped when she turned on the light, she was not expecting anyone else to be in the room. "What are you doing down here?" she asked, "couldn't sleep" he forced a smile. "Sorry, it was probably noisy... just, sorry" she smiled apologetically, sitting on the seat across from him. "Nice outfit" he pointed at the silk night dress she was wearing, she suddenly felt e,embarrassed, realizing her nipples poked through the thin material, not to mention it barley covered her thighs. She smiled at him awkwardly, "why are you down here?" he asked her. "I could't sleep either". "How was the date?" he questioned, "it was good" she felt weird talking to him about her date with another guy. She could't stop thinking about him, and he probably didn't care about her like that, he just got out of a long term relationship anyway.

"You know when you told me i didn't know 'the whole story', when you were in Italy, well you said you'd tell me when you got back" he remembered. "Fine, it's not as huge as you think. I was terrible, my mother was shitty and i didn't even know my dad, i lashed out, i wanted attention, so i slept around, i drank a lot, i did drugs and stayed out at clubs every night until 6am, it was stupid" she sighed. "I had this one boyfriend who was a little more than just sex, well not for him, but for me. We were together for 8 months, but he left when i got pregnant. I had an abortion, don't get me wrong i do not regret my decision at all. I didn't have the money for a baby, and i was nowhere near ready. But i couldn't help but feel guilty, i am so grateful that i did it, it would have been no life for the baby, or me, it wasn't fair to either of us. When i was a kid, i would write baby names and pretend my dolls were actual babies, and i just kept wondering what that baby would have been like, i imagined it as a real child, sorry i'm rambling, anyway, after that i pulled my act together and studied harder, drank less and didn't ever have unprotected sex again" she laughed a little at the last part.

"Why were you scared i'd hate you?" he asked, trying to absorb all the information. "I didn't think you'd hate me, well i hoped not, but when people know about you, when they know your secrets. They look at you differently" she explained. "Well i don't hate you, or see you differently" he gave her a soft smile. "Thank you"