⚠︎︎ 𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖 𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑠⚠︎︎

ʟᴏsᴛ

~
"look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore, say it." i looked back up from the ground and our eyes met

"im so sorry kairi, but i don't love you anymore"

"why mattia. do u enjoy watching me suffer and cry myself to sleep each and every night you're not next to me? was all the 'i loves you' and 'together till the end' all just bullshit to you, was it all fake. DID U ACTUALLY LOVE ME OR WAS I JUST A STUPID FUCKING BET WITH YOUR FRIENDS?"

"I DIDN'T PLAN ON FALLING IN LOVE. IM MATTIA FUCKING POLIBIO!! I DON'T FALL IN LOVE SO EVERYTHING WE HAD WAS REAL. ALL OF IT."

"I HATE IT! I HATE THE FACT THAT I CAN'T HATE YOU BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU."

"THEN STOP LOVING ME"

"OH GREAT WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT MATTIA. OH WAIT MAYBE BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN'T. DID U JUST NOT HEAR WHAT THE FUCK I JUST SAID. I CAN NOT C. A. N. ' T. I CAN'T"

" forget me "
~

Mattia Polibio

that's how i lost him 3 weeks ago. the one boy that loved me, cared for me, defended me in the worst situations, the one thing i loved most. its wasn't her. it was always kairi. from the beginning to the end. and now its gone. all because of a stupid bet i made with alejandro. now here i am in a hospital chair waiting for any news on kairi.

i guess he must forgotten to take me off his emergency contacts. silly kai. always forgetting things. they called me after mayia found him in his bathroom on the floor with blood everywhere.

"have you heard anything yet?" i looked over to see mayia handing me a cup of coffee. its been 17 hours since i haven't slept. 17 of wondering if kairi is gonna be okay. 17 hours of being scared for the worst, 17 hours of not knowing if the love of my life will come out of this alive. 17 hours of hearing the time tick.

"no.. listen mayia i am so sor-"

"sorry for what!!? sorry that kairi could lose his fucking life thanks to you? sorry that u put him through all that pain? sorry that ur causing more pain to my family? sorry for fucking what mattia? yk for once i thought you were different from the rest of them, turns out ur not. you are just some body that wanted to play with my brother feelings. i mean did you even think about telling him, telling him that it was all fake, all just an act for money. are you serious? MONEY! don't you make enough money off the internet. i don't even want to look at you. if he doesn't come out of here alive you best believe me and my family are NEVER letting you back in our house."

"no mayia everything i felt for him was and is real. i never meant for anything to happen. trust me. please i didn't want t hurt him. that's the last thing i wanted. im so sorry for everything that I've done to you, to your brother, to your family. i never wanted this."

"yeah well its a little late for that stupid apology. a sorry isn't gonna save kairi." she cleaned her tears and turned away from me. she was right. a sorry isn't going to fix anything.

"family of Kairi Cosentino?" i shot my head up and walked to the doctor.

"yeah that's me" the doctor pushed his glassed up and looked at me.

"i regret to informer you the kairi sadly did not make it."

" w-wait w-what?"

"he um swallowed to may pill and lost too much blood. the poor kid had too many scars to heal. i am truly sorry for your lost." and with that he walked off.

nonono not my kairi, my baby, my future, my everything. all bc of my stupid fault.

"hope you're happy isn't this what you wanted." she gave me note and walked to kairi's room. it was in a honey colored envelope. his favorite color. i opened it and it read.

dear Mattia,

hi babyy. im sorry i left without telling you. i couldn't take it no more. i couldn't take the pain anymore. so here i am writing you a love/goodbye letter. maybe if i tried harder or changed my looks i wouldn't be here. maybe if i had just said no to you on the first day we met i wouldn't be here, but at the same time im glad i did. why? well because we went out, had fun, we ate together, went to the beach together at 4 in the morning to watch the sun rise, we did a lot of things that i had never done before. like falling in love was one of the things i got to experience. u made me a better person. im not kidding ask my mom or my sister. actually they might be mad at you right now because their gonna think it was your fault, and im telling you this right now, nothing that happens or happened is your fault okay love. don't beat yourself up or else you gonna end up like me. dead. lol. sorry i should't be making jokes right now. just know that i love you so so so much. i wanna say something. i want to thank you, for everything that you have done for me. words can't describe how much i want to thank you from the smallest things like getting ice cream at 1 in the morning because i couldn't sleep, to, letting come to your house when i needed to rant to someone before we were dating. i wanna thank you for all the small details u did for me like, put little nice notes in my locker everyday to my day a little better, or to when you made me chicken soup because i was feeling very sick. i want to thank you for putting up with my bitchy attitude when i didn't get enough sleep the night before. i want to thank you for always encouraging me to do well in my exams and on any test or quiz i had. thank you for all the memories we made together. that's something ill never forget. no matter where i go. please know that i love you so fucking much. ill be watching you from up above or down below, wherever i go. just know i will always now be by your side amore mio.

your lover boy,

Kairi Samuel Cosentino

he was really something else, someone i didn't deserve but yet he choose to stay with me, because he loves me and

i love him.