The Gay Hero That Dissapeared (UA x Depressed Gay Reader)

14

⚠️ TW self-harm, depression, mentions of attempted suicide⚠️

(Y/N POV)

I woke up the next day before everyone, and everything was weird. Today was our day off, but we still had lots of homework, so we stayed at Yao-chan's place for the day. We studied until my head threatened to explode, and I went to their bathroom. Everyone's thoughts were ringing in my ears loudly, and I wished Yao-chan would just shut my ears again. Having to make do, I shut my ears with my hands and cried, sitting on the toilet seat.

"Shut up......... Please, just go away....... Why was I born with this cursed quirk? I wish I was quirkless......."

After a few minutes, I noticed something sharp in my pocket. I pulled the thing out and saw a razor. My razor. I rolled up my sleeves and made some deep, bloody cuts. 1........ 2....... 3....... 4.......

Yes........ That's right Y/N, do it more......... This is great, right? Why should you stop?

I remembered Yao-chan and everyone, and how much fun we had last night, and I yeeted the razor away. I felt numb. Everything was spinning. Shit, I probably cut a bit too deep. I stumbled to the sink, soaked up the blood, then unrolled my sleeves and stared, crying, into the mirror. Was this really who I was? Just a lame, dumb nobody that cuts himself and steals people's affection? As selfish as it seems, I wish Yao-chan and the rest wouldn't have stopped my suicide attempt. I didn't feel free now. I felt trapped. And small. I felt like the only place for me to actually deserve to be in was hell.

I stumbled out of the bathroom, still extremely dizzy, then slumped on Yao-chan's bed. I stayed on it for a while, until nightfall. I went out to her garden, then sat down on the grass and stared into the moon. She sat down next to me, and my head slumped into my lap. She held it back up and smiled worriedly at me.

"Y/N-kun? What's wrong?"

"N-nothing. I'm just a little tired."

Well, that wasn't a lie. I was exhausted. But it wasn't the only thing on my mind.

"Y/N-kun? The moon's really bright today."

I smiled, staring at the moon. I wanted to be the moon. It had no worries. No depression. No feelings. No responsibilities. If the moon decided to commit suicide one day, no one would stop it. And Yao-chan was thinking the same as me, except with an optimistic twist.

Ah, but if the moon died, we wouldn't have moments like this. And the world would be ruined. And the same would happen if you would die, my little mind-reader.

I couldn't take this anymore. I pulled Yao-chan into a really tight embrace, and I basically depended on it.

"I-i'm sorry...... I-I cut myself again Yao-chan. I'm so sorry. It's just........"

She started petting me, and I buried my face deeper into her chest, making her shirt wet with my tears.

"I really miss my parents....... I-I miss them so much........ I-I wish my quirk was better........ Th-that way I could've helped them......."

She kissed my cheek, then smiled at me.

"Y/N-kun? Please don't think like that. You're too pessimistic. You always think about what you could've done, and you never realize what you have done. I remember why your story about your parents was familiar. I saw their death too. I wasn't as emotionally attached to them, but I saw a boy who was 15, crying into the arms of the number 3 hero, Hawks, crying about how much he wanted them back. That was you. And....... I wanted to help the boy so badly. But I couldn't."

She kissed my forehead.

"But strangely, I don't regret a thing. I have you as my baby brother now. And that's all that matters to me."

I sobbed into her chest even more. I remembered seeing her then. I didn't recognize her, but in hindsight, it was her. But I didn't care. It's as she said. I had her now. And that's all that mattered to me.

"Y-yao-chan?"

I wiped away my tears, then kissed her cheek, still hugging her.

"I love you."

She smiled at me, then kissed my forehead.

"I love you too Y/N. But....... Would you like some tea?"

I giggled.

"N-no thanks. Sorry Yao-chan, but I think I drank enough tea today to last a lifetime."

We both laughed a bit, and eventually, I put my head on her lap and yawned.

"This is a really beautiful place to sleep in."

"Sleep then, my little mind-reader. Tomorrow's also one of our free days. We could go back to the dorms if you want, or we could go somewhere. Maybe an amusement park."

"No. Let's go to my house tomorrow. I haven't introduced you to little Maxy. He's my doggo."

I smiled upon remembering Maxy. He was too adorable for words. He always cheered me up when I was sad at home. He slept on the bed with me every day, and he was sure to run up to me and throw me into a lickfest when I was gonna get back home. I fell asleep, and my dreams were just of me and Yao-chan, petting Maxy, playing with Maxy, Maxy licking us, and so, so much more.