Soldier's heart | Jinkook

Chapter 14

Today we will see Jin's point of view.

I am really sorry, but I have no time - I'm graduating this year, I work in a hospital, and I have problems at home. So I can't update frequently. Thx for understanding.

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Jin's POV:

I woke up a little later than I am used to. I was exhausted from a previous long day. So many things happened yesterday. But I can think only about one person. I sat down by my make-up table with a big mirror and expressionlessly stared at my reflection - swollen eyes, dark circles under my eyes, pale skin. And It's all his fault!

"I hate him for make me look like this!" I whispered to my reflection.

"And he doesn't care. You are just a kid to him. A kid who he had to take care of. Nothing else." My reflection in the mirror said, smirking. And my expression changed. I was hurt.

"Yeah, right," I said and sighed.

"But you don't need him. He is just another man who wants to use you. You are the only person you can depend on. No one else deserves your love than you. So get over that trashy idea of love and enjoy that party." My reflection said encouragingly, and I just nodded.

"Yeah, let's enjoy the ball. It will be a hall full of men who want me, unlike "someone". I am not gonna waste this chance." I smirked to myself and stood up. I immediately called Hoseok and invited him over to prepare for our party night. I didn't tell him about Jungkook and me. I pretended that I lost interest in him and want to enjoy this night with some prince or duke. Hoseok let me clearly know that he doesn't trust me, and I promised him that I would tell him true after this night. He agreed after long thinking, but he didn't like the idea of me partying and pretending that nothing happened.

But I need this, and I am trying to convince myself that I like the idea of partying, but I don't. The truth is that I want to make Jungkook jealous. But I am scared that he won't be bothered by it at all. I am scared that he will give a shit about me dancing, talking, laughing, fucking with another man. Things that would kill me if I found out that Jungkook did with someone else.

I haven't seen Jungkook all day, and I don't know if it is a good or bad thing. Do I miss him? No! Maybe? No! I tried to focus only on my look and preparation for the ball, but my thoughts were full of Jungkook and his whereabouts.

"Jin! Oh my God! You look amazing! You are such a bitch, always looking better than me!" Hoseok yelled at me with a wide smile.
"Yeah, I was born with this talent," I said thoughtlessly while watching my reflection. Maybe I am already paranoid, but I think that my reflection winked at me without me doing that. 

"Jin, the ball began one hour ago. It is perfect time for us to show to all those men what they will fight for." Hoseok said with a smirk and opened the door for me.
When we entered the hall, I was amazed at how beautiful the decoration is. Yoongi was already waiting at the entrance for his boyfriend. 

"Jin, are you ok?" Hoseok asked, a little worried.

"Of course. You two go dance. That is the reason why we are here." I said with a fake smile. Hoseok recognized that fake smile, but he just nodded and left with Yoongi. I stayed a little longer at the entrance and watched all those princes and dukes. I was disgusted. They all were so young, short, and tiny - such kids. Yes, I did nothing but compare them to Jungkook. But whose fault is it? Surely not mine.

"Attention, please. Attention!" Choi Ji Mong yelled over the whole hall while standing on the dais where was my and father's throne. Everyone moved their attention to him and waited.