What about our garden? (Tsukkiyama angst)

Spring--6

Spring. Tadashi's all time favourite time of the year. Most people's favourite would be Christmas but you don't get flowers at Christmas. Spring bought so many stunning flowers.
~~~~~~~
He was currently laying in bed sobbing quietly to himself. The headaches had come back a month ago- February. They were worse now then when he first got them.
Kei hadn't found out they were back yet. Yams just hoped they would go away again, just like they did last time.
That's what would happen. It's what had to happen. They would go away. Of course they would.
~~~~~~~~
"Hey yams!"
"Hey suga!"
Tsukki and Tadashi had just arrived to practice together. Friday night. They were both so excited for tonight. The blonde had planned a beautiful, peaceful picnic in the flower field. The one they had gone to all those years ago. They hadn't been to that specific one since that day. Today was going to be so special.
They just had to make it through practice first.
That shouldn't be too hard.

"Oh my god bakayama look slatyshima is smiling!"
The short boy clung to the arm of his friend pointing at the slight smile on kei's face.
"Shut up you 2 ft tall idiot."
"Be nice kei."
Yams only got a 'Tch' in response as his boyfriend went to put their water bottles down.

"H-Hey g-uys is it okay if I just-t sit down for a little bit." The pain in his head was overwhelming. He had to go tonight. He couldn't miss it, the date was going to be perfect.
He just needed to sit down for a little,focus on his breathing. Just for a little bit. Yeah just a few minutes.
"Yeah of course yams. But are you okay?"
"Y-yeah I-I'm fine." He could barely make a sentence. Everything was all fuzzy and black dots clouded his vision. The pain was all he could focus on. No sound was reaching him. Everything was just static. Quiet. Too quiet. He hated it. The boy wasn't even aware that he was screaming. Noise was coming out of his mouth, people were talking to him. Silence. Everything was completely quiet. He also wasn't aware of when he got to the floor,but he was now on the floor sobbing and screaming. Hands were wrapped around his head, his? Maybe. Nothing was making sense.
Then things were okay. The pain stopped for a split second. His vision was normal for a moment. Only a moment. A freeze in time.

Then everything went black, not just the small dots, not just the blurriness. Completely black.
~~~~~~~
"D-dashi?"
All he wanted to do was speak and open his eyes, but he couldn't. His eyes felt unbearably heavy and his throat ached beyond imagination. It hurt so bad.  Pain was still shooting through his head.
Why weren't his arms working? Why couldn't he grab his head. It didn't make sense.
Panic flooded the boy, what had happened? Was he alive? Where is he? Where's tsukki?

The blonde must have picked up on this panic because he clutched at the freckled boys hand harder then ever.
"It's okay dashi. You're gonna be okay. Alright? You're gonna be okay. You.... you have to be." The end was quiet, almost a whisper.
"Where am I?" His voice was finally working. Although, every word felt like it was ripping his throat apart.
"The hospital Tadashi. You're in the hospital." The hospital? Why? But it was just a headache. It was.....
It had to be....
His eyes still wouldn't open. He needed them to be open. He had to see kei.
"My eyes won't work."
"You're just tired babe. It's okay. You're safe. Go back to sleep."
"O-okay. Please don't leave me kei. Stay here,please. I'm really scared."
"I know my love. I'm scared too. But it'll be alright. I'm not going anywhere I promise."
And with that promise he let sleep consume him once again.
Just as he was drifting off he could make out tsukki's quiet sobbing.

'Please don't cry tsukki. Please. I'm okay. Just.... just tired.' The last thought going through his head before everything was black once again.
~~~~~~~~
"Good morning my love." His eyes were working again. He clutched at kei's hand to let the other know he was awake.
"Mhm good morning dashi."
"When can I go home tsukki?"
The blonde froze whilst rubbing his eyes.
"They do-n't know,love." His voice broke whilst saying what one would assume to be a simple answer.
"They don't know? But I'm okay. So why can't I go home. What's going on kei?" He wasn't aware when exactly the tears started but it didn't look like they would stop anytime soon.
"Shhh shhh it's okay. It'll be okay. Please don't cry. Look you're getting tears on your beautiful strawberry kisses."
"It's not okay is it kei?"
"They don't know my love." Kei was now collapsed on the floor next to tadashi's bed, clutching onto his lovers hand like he would disappear any second. Tears flowed down his perfect face so effortlessly. So many tears.
"Kei what's wrong with me?"
"They think.... they think it's.... cancer Tadashi. In your brain." He sounded so broken. So sad. So hurt.
"That means they can fix it. It can't be that bad tsukki. Tsukki, look at me. Please look at me. Please?" Why wouldn't he look at him. Why wasn't he looking up. It felt like everything was caving in on him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He had spent months in the hospital now. They'd given him an estimate of 12 months, it had been 3.
9 more. Or less.

"Kei will you please leave me."
"No."
" but I don't want you to see me get worse. You don't deserve that. Please my love. Please just leave. Let me keep loving you. Let yourself love someone else."
"Always and forever..." it was barely audible but he had said something.
"What?"
"You said always and forever. I asked you. I made you promise. You said always and forever." The blonde shouted for the first time ever.
"I know I did kei."
"You..... you said it.... you promised me." He broke down after the few seconds of rage.
He couldn't even answer the boys cry. He just wanted to make it better. He couldn't though. There was no way for him to help at all. He couldn't get rid of this thing in his brain. He couldn't fix it. He couldn't take back that promise either. He was so extremely powerless.
"I don't want to forget you though kei..."
"They said I will forget people,places,events. And i don't want you to see that happen. I don't want you to see me like this. For you to look me in the eyes and me not have a clue who you are..... I can't forget you kei."

"Are we interrupting?" Suga,daichi,hinita and kageyama stood in the doorway. Their hearts ached watching the scene in front of them. How could something like this happen. Why him. Why the sweet sweet Yamiguchi. He didn't deserve this. No one did.
"No it's fine c'mon."