What about our garden? (Tsukkiyama angst)

Hospital walks--7

"H-he-hey tsukki?"
"Yes dashi?"
Speaking had started to become a challenge for the boy. Most things were the same as they used to be. Back when there wasn't a chance the boy would die any second. He had awful headaches Every now and then,he had lost weight,speaking was a challenge. Other then that most things were the same.
He had forgotten though. He had forgotten about the old team. They stopped visiting a month ago,it was too hard for them to see the boy like this. It broke Tsukki's heart when they stopped coming. The blonde wanted his boyfriend to have the very best last year possible. He wanted to do absolutely everything he could to give yams the best time ever. To make the boy feel wanted,loved,needed. But no one else visited. How lonely the boy must look to the nurses and other patients. Only one person visited. Every single day. He would never miss a day. Even if no one else came,tsukki did. That's all that mattered.
"C-an...we..."
"Take your time my love."
"N-no I'm o-okay. Can w-we.... go f-for a walk?"
"Sure."
He helped the boy up and held onto him in case the boy was a bit unsteady. The olive haired male could still walk by himself. For now.
The hospital was plain and just like every other hospital. Bright,fluorescent lights covered the ceilings.  The walls were a bleached white. The colour would have been fine, if kei didn't have to see it everyday. If kei didn't have to roam the hallways whilst his beloved slept. If kei didn't have to stare at the ceiling trying not to let his thoughts consume him. If kei didn't have to do this...
He hated himself so so much for thinking like that. 'If he didn't have to do this' he was warned. Yamiguchi had warned him. He had told him that it would get bad,that he would end up forgetting, that it wasn't going to be easy and it wasn't going to be pretty. Tadashi had given the boy a chance to leave. He didn't take the chance. He could be offered that chance a million times,he would never take it. He loved this boy no matter what. Yes it broke his heart to see him like this,but he loved him. He wouldn't leave. He couldn't. Even thinking about leaving made him cry and hate himself.
"Anywhere in particular you wanna go?"
"The g-gar-garden."
A tear or two slipped down the blondes face.
The garden.
"Okay."
~~~~~~~~~~
The two boys rambled through the ghostly hallways. The hallways seemed to be endless. They just wanted to get to the garden but so many hallways prevented this. Yams would get tired before they even reached the garden, if this continued.
"You okay dashi?"
A small nod came from the shorter boy.
He was clinging to the blonde as they walked.  He could walk, he just needed a little support. It was a struggle for his mind and body to work together.
He could do it though,he was so strong. At least in tsukki's eyes he could. In tsukki's eyes,he could do absolutely anything. Except the one thing tsukki needed him to do that is.

He couldn't live.

Soon enough,they rounded the final corner and found the door. It was slightly cold. Not too bad but definitely chilly.
"Are you sure we should be out here yams? It's cold."
"I-I'm okay k-kei you don't g-gotta worry." Normally that would have been an enthusiastic shout, probably with some teasing joke about Tsukki being worried. The boy just didn't have the energy to do that anymore. Tsukki missed those jokes. Every single tease he had gotten.  They were always followed with an angelic giggle. He missed that laugh too.
"Hmmm fine. At least put this scarf on though. I can't risk you getting sick."
A blue scarf was produced out of the boys pocket and gently wrapped around Tadashi's small neck.
"H-happy now?" A pout spread across the boys face at being made to wear the scarf.
"Yes. you look adorable dashi."
The pout was quickly replaced with a small smile and a light blush. This is a sight tsukki was going to miss. He knew that.
Tadashi's good days were currently out weighing the bad ones. Today was a good day.
Tadashi's smiles might not be as bright or big as they once were,but he still treasured every single one.
~~~~~~~
The couple roamed the dull garden for a good ten minutes. They weren't going to be able to stay out there long,not with this temperature.
"Th-ere....aren't a-any flowers here..."
"I know. I'm sorry i couldn't take you to see some proper flowers my love. It's just too cold. Too risky. There's no reason to tempt fate."
"I-I know..."
"I'll bring you a flower tomorrow. Okay?"
The olive haired male only gave a squeeze to tsukki's hand and a gentle smile as a response. He was exhausted.
"Tired?"
"Yeah."
Tsukki scooped Tadashi up into his arms and decided to carry him all the way back to the rooms.
It didn't seem to take as long as the journey outside had.
Hopefully they could do this again. Hopefully they would still get chances. They still had time.
~~~~~~~~~
Tadashi was curled up on himself in the bed. Tsukki was supposed to be visiting today. He was late. Practice ended at 4:15 Tsukki was supposed to be here at 5, so where was he. The green alarm clock showed the time as 7. He was so late.
He'd never ever been late before. It didn't make any sense. Was he hurt? Had he gotten into an accident? Did something happen?
Did he finally leave? Had he decided he couldn't cope with seeing the sick boy anymore?
"H-hello yams?"
A sliver haired male stood in the doorway. Who?
"I-I'm a-sorry....who are y-you?" Speech had become even harder now.  Today was a bad day. He just wanted to be in tsukki's arms, that always made him feel even a little bit better.
"Oh.." he felt awful about not remembering.
"Do you really not remember me?"
"N-no s-sorry?" Tears started to taint the sick boys checks again. How could he forget. It wasn't fair. He didn't remember anyone. Nothing. No one. Except tsukki.  He'd rather just die before he forgot tsukki.
"W-well it's okay yams. I understand. Please don't cry. Please. You don't have to feel bad. This isn't your fault. Shhhhh. Shhhh. It's me suga."
This only made the tears come faster. Suga? He had no clue who this person was.
"W-where....?"
"He can't make it tonight." Suga interrupted already knowing where this was going. Tsukki was so tired. He went to the hospital everyday,had practice everyday and school. He was exhausted and falling asleep in classes. So Suga had offered to come instead. Kei had to be convinced for a good 3 hours but finally gave in.  He did need sleep but he really couldn't waste an opportunity to be with his beloved.
Even if he couldn't be there somebody had to be. There was no way he was going to let Yamiguchi be alone.
"O-oh."
"He'll be here tomorrow. I promise he will. He.... he's just tired today."
Yams just gave a small nod in response. He too was exhausted. Multiple tests had been done on the boy today. To check all sorts of things,how long it was estimated he had left,how his tumour was progressing,how much weight he'd lost. All sorts of awful things. All by himself.
Tsukki was usually there for tests like these. Not today.
"Y-yeah tomorrow."
'What about my flower?' Yamiguchi thought to himself as another tear slipped out.