never ending

hoe?......please

July 7th👅
3 weeks later
i had a turnt ass 4th of july me des sinatra toraine went out got drunk asab went to a party and had sooo much fun like you dont understand😭...butttt life has been going bitter sweet my brother is coming home tomorrow ☺️ but the brain tumor is still spreading becus no matter what it wont go away you cant fully get rid of it but he has meds to slow it down but the spot on his lungs was removed and he will be able to be home so im excited about that and me and gynai have been getting together more but me and august still keep in touch hes in somewhere cus he on his testimony tour right now but me and gynai were texting ..
*screen shots of me and august from news articles*
gynai: dont play w. me😐 okay stop fw him
chey: i mean hes there more than you were soo
gynai: i be busy and you know that i do this for me and you why cant you ever be grate ful😒
chey: ungrate ful? okay...you say that but he talks on the phone w. me whenever....w. you its whenever you decide to call or text he does more than you and hes not even my boyfriend if you forgot
gynai:he has it easier hes already a star im upcoming ! just stop acting like a hoe
*i read the message for forever like it flashed across my screen me acting like a hoe jus because i cant stay comitted but you barely listen to me and stuff like that yes you talk to me now but idk im not a hoe tho so i didnt reply to that alligation😴 it was stupid and im not gonna stand for it honestly i love gynai i dont wanna hurt him at all i really love him he was my first love he a heart break to i got back w. him idk if he changed but i really love him...i forgave him
next week
July 14th🙌
i finally replied to gynai he been texting me "sorry" "i dont know what i was thinking" "i dont wanna lose you" "you aint no hoe that was slow of me" "i was being stupid" etc etc i said "you know exactly what you were thinking"... but i lied to him..i told him "i wont hang w. august anymore because i respect you and what you want and thats real💯" i know its not idk maybe cus i like him but i want august to august my temptation gynai my boyfriend but august isnt back yet after he hit houston he said he gonna be back in cali but i been chillin w. my sisters my brother is home.... me & my friends partying drinking smoking playing all that summer fun shitttt but its good to see my mom in a good mood & my grandma everythings going well but he still depressed i wouldnt blame him everyday never knowing if youre heart just gonna stop beating.. i let him hear my song we were both crying at the end and hugged
nikko: you remember all of that
chey: yessssss i will never forget
nikko: cheyenne ❤️ i love you so much i dont have much time to live i swear you make my pain go away feels good to know you care...your a good sister i swear and imma be in a better place
chey: ik but i dont want you to leave i dont
nikko; i dont wanna leave but everything happens for a reason i wish i could be cancer free and celebrate but thats not how life work but just know once im gone im still here w. you ik you gonna make me proud..you forver make me proud dont think sometimes you make decisions that werent the best im still proud cus you a fighter & you been through some shit but atleast you aint give up
*i started crying more*
chey: i aint give up most times cus you you can comfort well and help me through some shit especially when i was close to you know..being done for good..you helped me & i just love you so much cus everyboy in my life has either left or stepped on my heart and youve never did that to me you have never turned yo back on me for whenever or whatever ive done some shit that makes boys think less of me but you... you never & you were there for my first heart break w. sean you held me that tim when i look back we were like 5 you helped me through it all ive always trusted you w. everything you have always got me and stuck up for me....to know youre leaving me breaks my heart but this is something i cant control
nikko: chey i will always watch over you i know youve had bad luck w. love and bad luck w. boys period and i love that your open w. me w. what you do n can tell me stuff and i never think less of you cus no matter what you still a women and you still my sis and imma have your back through whatever of course imma get mad at things but never think i would turn my back on you
chey: and you were the nigga that taught me niggas aint loyal all the hoes you be one nighting in here😂 atleast you finally settled
nikko:😂😂😂 u a fool brah
*we kept talking but sean is my dad he just ugh hes done so much to me he was the first man to break my heart before any boy did but i went and layed in my room this was so hard seeing him dying august talked me through it tho we relate in that way cus his bro passed like i said its not the same way but he know how it feel to lose someone you really love & admire then i fell asleep crying still sad i miss the way my life used to be before i got that one heart break before my brother was diagnosed w. cancer before my boyfriend started wanting to rap before..i graduated in a way 💀and i could have fun on the weeknds and went to the real world i never knew id be here. this hard