If I Can't Have You // Larry Stylinson AU

Chapter XI

chapter eleven

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"Powerless, and I don't care it's obvious"

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-H-

I had to hurry back to the dorms in the short break I had between two subjects. I had forgotten my notes for law. Thank god that my ankle wasn't really bothering me much anymore.

I quickly said goodbye to Ashton, the boy I shared History classes with in the first period. He was really nice, and he had asked me a few times if I wanted to do something with him. I actually met him through Niall's attempts to set me up with him. He had made me aware of him and as he seemed nice, I just went up to him and we have been sitting together in History ever since. It was nice to have a friend, in subjects I didn't share with my mates.

I put on my backpack, being once more reminded that I should urgently get a new one. The right strap was almost about to tear off. 'I'm lucky that I get everything for free at the palace', I thought and made my way across the large campus lawn.

Because it had rained during the night, everything was a bit muddy, and I hadn't even covered half of the distance when my shoes were already soaked. I shouldn't have chosen my white sneakers today, now I would have to ask Eleanor to clean them.

The benches at the edge of the meadow were all empty except for one, everyone was busy getting to the next classroom or it was just too cold to sit down outside.

Closer up, I saw that the boy sitting on the bench was William. Why was he sitting alone on a bench in this weather? Well, not that I cared what he was doing.

I walked past him, hoping he wouldn't recognise me. I wasn't in the mood to argue or deal with his shit.

Stop- he... he was crying? I was now near enough to hear small sobs escape his body. Shit. I was like thunderstruck, not knowing what to do. Should I- should I go up to him? I quickly turned around, just... just to reassure me that he was really crying because it was a little hard to believe if I was honest.

To my shock, he was looking right back at me, his eyes full of tears. His face seemed so silently scream 'leave me alone', he looked deeply hurt. And even though I generally liked helping people, I knew this wasn't my place, this was William.

I inhaled slowly and walked to my dorm.

When I came back, William wasn't there anymore, but the spot where he had been sitting was still a bit lighter than the others, not as drenched in rain as the rest of the bench.

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William hadn't shown up to the maths lecture, but surprisingly he did to practice. It was the first training for me after I had hurt my ankle, and I had already missed it. It was a change to the rest if the time, after only being surrounded by uni rooms and out dorm for the main part of the time it was nice to get out. You might think that in the palace there is so much to see that you don't get bored so easily... but if you spend most of your time with studies, you could get bored even here. Physical exercise helped me to relax and get my head clear.

Richard made a little announcement at the beginning: "This is the last training in this constellation, on Monday I will announce who has made it into the team."

During the warm-up, I stayed behind a bit. I didn't want to strain my foot that much yet, but I had told the coach before practice started. I didn't want him to think that I had lost my motivation, and to my surprise he even praised me for being so responsible and putting my body first. Also, walking behind the others gave me the opportunity to check people out without them noticing. Well, um... people as in William.