A Silent Sin

The Five Stages Of Grief

                                                                   Kirishima's Point Of View

The last thing I remember before falling asleep was kisses being placed on my face, even though the touch was unwanted, a part of me loved the feeling of being kissed by Bakugou. Being kissed by someone I knew and by someone I know loves me even if he says he doesn't, the kisses were soft and had so much meaning behind them. They differed from the ones that Man gave me, and I was glad.

So for the first time that day , I felt safe.

Really safe. 

I woke up to feel another body beside me, my eyes hurt from crying so much and I felt dirty. The sun shined through bakugou's black curtains lighting up the dimly lit room, I sighed while cuddling closer to Bakugou. I felt so tired yet I couldn't get myself to sleep, I tried for almost an hour getting comfortable in Bakugou's arms and yet nothing worked.

My mind kept bringing back the memories of last night, I could feel him touching me. The feeling of being stretched open and blood dripping down my leg, the feeling of being so goddamn weak, my back aches and cheek stung from under the bandaid I was given last night.

Am I really a whore like he said? A bitch, A f@g, a slut, a tw!nk?

Why, why me. What did I do to deserve this? Can it really be true..?

Was I really raped?

NO. No. Boys can't get raped, what am I talking about, only girls can get raped. I was only used as a toy, I was only used because I was a f@gget like he said. Nothing more, nothing less.

I started to cry, it can't be.

I don't want to be misused.

The body laying next to me started to stur, did I wake him up.

Is he going to use me just like that man did.

Is he going to throw me around like some ragdoll.

Is he going to hurt me?

I shut my eyes tight, preparing myself for anything. Please don't hurt me

I felt a hand lightly rub up my forearm.

I wanted to scream.

Don't touch me.

I don't want to go through it again.

'Kirishima..It's okay it's me.."

I opened my eyes, looking up, Bakugou's piercing red eyes stared back at me. He wiped away my tears, his thumb pressing over the bandage on my face lightly. I looked down not wanting to meet his gaze, my hands were clinging tightly to his shirt. I pulled away curling in on myself, I'm such a fucking nusince.

Bakugou probably hates me right now, I should have just stayed in that alley till the sun rose the next day. Walking into the dorms saying i just had a family emergency and had to go home for the night. They would've believed me. I could have kept quiet about this and no one would even bat an eye.

I'm just a toy.

No one really cares about me, they shouldn't care.

I'm just a f@gget used for someone else's internment.

"Hey..Eijirou look at me.."

I stiffened , a sob threatening to make its way up my throat.

No stop calling me by my name.

I don't deserve your sympathy.

I did this to myself.

His hand made its way to my chin, forcing my head up. Our eyes locking for just a moment, I shuddered ,pushing his hand away. Don't look at me, i don't understand why you look so sad, I'm just a whore. I don't deserve your pity, I don't deserve the light kisses and touches you give when you speak sweet nothings into my ear.

A few new kisses were pressed onto my face, they were light and soft. He took my hand and gave me a few kisses on my knuckles and finger tips. I sobbed by that point.

Stop it.

Please stop.

Tears rolling down my cheeks, my face red and ugly, I probably look like complete shit. So why do you continue to kiss me, to hold me. Why? I'm not the strong manly guy I once was, the guy who you said that could stand by your side while you conquered the world.

So please stop.

Dont love me.

Hate me!

Hate me!

Hate me!

Please I'm no good to you anymore.

I'm not unbreakable.

The memories flash into my mind again, being pushed up against a wall. The pain.

Stop it please make it stop.

Bakugou make it stop.

My thoughts were so loud they were clouding my judgment, all I hear is static rushing over me blocking out any noise that was once in my ears. My breathing quickens, I feel like I'm choking. Is he here? Stop, make it stop! My hands go to cover my ears to silence the ringing but it's no use, I could hear the faint sound of my name being called. But the static and ringing keep blocking out all my senses, my lungs burn for the need of air

I press my hands down harder on my ears, I try to speak but I can't hear my own voice, my tongue is slurring my words. I know it is. I try to scream to shout, I can't hear anything to make it stop!

Please!