Opposites Attract.

Chap 10.

Steal away in the morning, loves already history to you.
Just a habit your forming, this body's desperate for something new,
Just a matter of feeling.
This moment's madness is sure to pass,
And tears will will dry as your leaving,
who knows you might find something to last.

Nick drifts away to the sound of Simon's voice, but the lyrics seem to be hitting him in the heart, more than they usually do, Simon is a poet that's for sure, he can make you feel any emotion with a simple phrase, and it is hurting Nick as he listens closely to the lyrics, and suddenly his mind drifts to Andy, and his smile, that tempting smile pulls him back in each time, and he knows he'll never forget it, no matter who he is with in the future, if he has children, he'll tell them all about him, tell them about the laughs they had, how he made him feel.

Emotion's a game, saved up for a rainy Monday,
But you laugh just the same, 'cause it's been pouring all Sunday,
call up your numbers and never let the zeros bring you down.
How does it feel?
Is time to heavy to hold, whatever you decide for the moment is holy,
whenever you slow down, to see life is passing by.

His heart feels like it's in his throat, those heart wrenching lyrics seem to be hurting his soul a bit more than usual, he tries his best to focus on his playing, he doesn't want to mess it up, but it's only rehearsal, although he has been making more mistakes than usual.
As the sweet melody floods his ears, his mind starts to wonder, he doesn't want it to, but he can't stop it now.
He imagines Andy holding him by the waist, while Nick has his arms around him, holding his back, the two chest to chest. It's 1982 and Andy is wearing a beautiful black suit, a cute bow tie to top it off, his hair is perfect, everything in the moment is so perfect. He imagines the sweet song playing in his scenario, 'A Matter Of Feeling', it may seem like an odd song to be playing, but it's the only one he can picture as it's being played now.
Nick is wearing the same as Andy, his makeup is done to perfection, many people are around them, but they don't care, they are too lost in each other's eyes.
"You're beautiful." Andy whispers, holding Nick's waist tighter, keeping him as close as he can.
"Stop, I'm gonna blush!" Nick giggles, holding his shoulders. He stares into his big blue eyes, he loves him, he loves him so much it hurts.
"Nick? Nick snap out of your daydream." A voice calls, Nick looks up, his eyes wide and alert, the group are laughing, especially Warren, it makes Nick's blood boil.
Simon and John have adapted to Warren quite well, they talk a lot now, more of a friend rather than a colleague, which is fine, but Nick still holds a grudge, yes he's petty, probably gets it from Andy, he doesn't care though, him and Andy can be cold hearted together.
Warren is too full of himself for Nick's liking, he hasn't talked much to him, Warren tries to, but Nick will never crack open to him.
He notices how he stares at him sometimes, definitely in a more than friendly way, Nick tries not to laugh at the fact he could have a crush on him, it would be hilarious if he did. When he talks to him he doesn't always seem to be looking at his eyes, Nick would love to have him wrapped around his finger, he could get anything he wanted from him, if he seduced him enough that is.
The song finishes, and Nick is glad of it, it's too heartbreaking to hear right now, his head is aching, his hands tremble slightly as he holds his cigarette close to his lips, a pen in his other hand as he scribbles down notes, they've got quite a lot on their plate for interviews and performances, he supposes people are looking to get stuff out of them now that it's down to three of them, it must be quite a shock to some people, it was definitely a shock to him.
Nick sits on the couch, squinting his eyes at his own messy handwriting, he hates his past self for not taking more time with his writing, he's finding it hard to read, or maybe it's just that he's finding it hard to focus, he really can't tell anymore, how is he supposed to survive if he can't even understand himself?
John is elsewhere, probably taking a smoke break, while Warren sits on the other side of the couch that Nick is occupying, and Simon is sat crisscrossed on the floor, sorting through pages, humming tunes to himself.
"Fuck, I need to look for my notes, there in the other room. I'll be back in a minute." Simon says, using his arms to push himself off of the floor, before he's already left the room, Nick watches the door shut.
You just had to leave when it's only me and Warren, didn't you?
Nick says to himself, he lets out a sigh, before quickly glancing to Warren, who is still sitting on the couch next to him, he looks like he doesn't even know what he is doing, it annoys Nick that he doesn't seem to care so much.
Nick looks over beside him, more pages lay near to him, Nick doesn't want to ask him to hand them over, but he can't act like this forever, if he's going to be here for the long term, he's going to have to tolerate him.
He clears his throat, looking to Warren, who looks as though he could fall asleep any moment.
"Warren, could you pass those notes, please." Nick mumbles, looking back down at his page.
Warren looks to where Nick points, reaching to grab the paper.
Once he does, he moves up the couch, going strangely close to him for Nick's liking. He gets uncomfortable fast, he stinks of cheap cologne, Nick almost chokes up.
Once the two are almost touching legs, Warren hands the papers to him.
Nick looks him up and down, before taking the papers out of his hand.
"Thanks. Oh, could you also grab the-"
Nick is soon cut off by Warren's lips smashing against his, Nick lets out a small yelp, the kiss is uncomfortable, Nick almost gags into Warren's mouth.
Nick quickly jumps, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him with all his strength. He holds onto the back of the couch, breathing heavily.
"Is there something fucking wrong with you?!" He yells, wiping his lips over and over.
Warren is stunned by his response, leaning back in his seat.
"Jesus, you really play hard to get." He says, a stupid grin forms on his face.
"What is your problem? I am not interested." Nick says, before he stands up from the couch, not wanting to be anywhere near him.
"It's just a bit of fun, I'm bored here, what have we got to loose?" He says teasingly, Nick replays his words in his head.
"I'm bored."
"It's just a bit of fun."
Nick can't help but think of why he is always used for his body, no one ever seems to want him for anything other than sex, and it's getting tiring.
Andy comes to his mind, he thinks of how he told them that what they done what just that, nothing more, nothing less.
He recalls how he would take his clothes off slowly, Andy would read his body once, feel his skin in its most vulnerable state.
"I need you." Andy would say,
Want. Nick's mind would correct.
Each night he thought there was something different, but they were all the same, he'll undress, he'll hold Andy's hands in his own and note the rhythm of his breath.
So was he just a want to him?
"You're bored? So you want to fuck me? Well I'm so sorry to disappoint you, but I am really not interested."  Nick snaps, taking his paper, getting ready to leave.
"What, are you taken?"
Nick stops at his question, he doesn't even know how to answer it, but anything to get him to leave him alone will do.
"I've got my eyes on someone, yes. So if you get bored again, leave me out of it." Nick hisses, before his emotions all build up into one, he storms out of the room, tears filling his eyes, he wants to scream until he can't anymore, he wants to punch something, he feels like he's being eaten at from the inside, he's just so tired of everything.
He throws his pen down, the papers included, his teeth clench together, as tears drip down his face.
He feels like punching Andy. He feels like punching that perfect face of his, hard. He wishes he never met him in the first place, that he never walked into the Rum Runner, if he had've just kept himself in Newcastle, maybe Nick wouldn't be in this situation.

Fuck you. Fuck you for wanting me first then breaking my heart like I didn't mean shit. Fuck you for making me think I was in the wrong and that that I was asking too much of you. You can't even give me the bare fucking minimum while I am still giving you my whole heart. Fuck you because I will always love you. Even if I do eventually heal, a part of me will always belong to you.

Nick hurries down the hall, he wants to be anywhere but here, although he doesn't really know where he wants to be. For so long no where has felt like home, no where has give him comfort.
He sniffles and wipes his eyes, he finds it hard to breath as his silent cries choke him.
"Nick? Where are you going?" John asks, his eyes watch him storm away, he knows something is wrong.
Nick ignores his question, quickening his pace as he spots the door to leave. He must be really stupid to think that John is just going to let him leave like that, he should know that John never lets him get away with things that easily.
"Nick, stop." He says, grabbing Nick's arm.
Nick feels himself jolt back, stumbling to meet John's eyes.
John studies his red face, the tears that stain it, and his bloodshot eyes.
"Let me go, please." Nick cries, trying to pry off John's hand, but it doesn't work, John keeps a firm grip on him.
"No, your going to explain what is going on." John orders, he brings Nick into a room and shuts the door, leaving Nick further away from getting out of here.
"N-No, Johnny. Let me leave, I-I wanna go home." Nick says, sobbing as he looks to the door.
"Calm down, just tell me what happened."
"I don't want to. I just need to go."
"You can't keep doing this, Nick." John says, holding his knee to keep him still.
"Why the fuck is it any of your business?" Nick snaps, taking John's hand away from him.
"Because I'm your best friend and I'm worried. Just fucking talk to me!"
Nick closes his eyes, realising he can't keep doing this.
"Fine! You wanna know so bad? Warren fucking kissed me. There, happy now?" Nick exclaims, his breathing shuddering.
John's eyes widen, that is definitely not what he was expecting to hear, he leans back, removing his hands off of Nick.
"He- What?" John says, the confusion on his face is too noticeable.
"Yeah, I told you he was a dick, none of you listened. He told me he was 'bored' and wanted to kill time, by fucking me." Nick says, his voice is cold and bitter sounding, but it only holds sadness behind it.
"Nick... I did not expect that, what a bastard. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, it's just- I'm sick of being used." Nick stutters, he pretends to be interested in his nails as he talks, but it's not as easy as that.
"Come here, give me a hug." John whispers, sitting next to Nick.
Nick turns around, rapping his arms around John, tears falling onto his shoulder.
"Are you sure that's the reason your crying?" John asks the dreaded question that Nick's heart always skips a beat to.
He opens his eyes, thinking of a response. He parts from the hug, but stays close to him.
"What do you mean?" Nick whispers, studying John's face.
"Well, I don't think you would be crying over something like that. Something's on your mind, or someone."
Nick feels his heart drop, he doesn't know what to say or how to say it. He stares at John, who keeps his eyes focused on him, waiting.
"N-No..? What do you mean?" Nick says, pretending to be clueless.
"Something else is wrong, Nick."
Nick feels as though he's tied up with a light shining on him to speak, he's trembling.
What is he supposed to say now?