In Every Bird.

Chapter 13: Mourning Dove

It's a sea of black.
Every head is down trying not to look at the front where the caskets lay, one big, one small, both closed.
Cole is at the front pew to the left, and he's sitting down, elbows on knees, head down and hands intertwined.

I walk behind him and place my hand on his shoulder.
He looks up at me and stands up to give me a hug.
It's loose, weak.
He's hurt.

He hugs me and places his hands on my head.
I try my hardest not to jump at the feeling as to not make his about me, so I pull away and straighten his blazer.

"You look nice." I say.
He's in all black, not even his button up is white.

"You too." He says in a monotone voice.
Caleb and Emily walk up after me and give their condolences.
We then all sit on the pew next to Cole and wait for the service to start.

"Please stand as we play the girls favorite song as mother and daughter." The preacher says.

Everyone stands, and "So This Is Love" from Cinderella starts playing.
I don't think a single person in that room wasn't crying hard.

"I'm all aglow, mm mm mm mmm.
And now I know, the key to all heaven, is mine." The song sings and Cole squeezes his eyes shut as tears drip down to the floor.

"My heart has wings, mm mm mm mmm.
And I can fly...
I'll touch every star in the sky.
So this, is the miracle that I've been dreaming of...mm mm mm mmm... mm mm mm mmm...
...So this, is... love..." It plays.

"You may be seated."

Sniffles fill the room.
Tears coat the floors and shoes of the ones above.
The preacher speaks for a good 15 minutes with very encouraging Bible verses and stories of heaven. I really do hope it's real, because I know that's where they are if it is.

"And now for the son and brother of these girls to speak, Mr. Cole Walker." He announces.

Cole gets up and walks up behind to the podium.
He adjusts the mic to be taller for him, and clears his throat.
His eyes are blood shot, nose red too, lips and face puffy, lashes clinging together due to the adhesive that is his tears.

"I'm Cole Walker, son of Mellisa Anne (Harper) Walker, and brother of Shanley Jane Walker. The two beautiful girls we're remembering today." He says and grips the sides of the podium.

"My mother always raised me to respect others, especially women. As men, we are naturally stronger, bigger, and scarier.
We have a role to protect the women of this earth from people who take advantage of their size." He says and starts to tear up.
"Mom, Shanley..." He says with breaks in his voice.
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from him.
I was too little. I didn't know." He cries and wipes his eyes.
"All I can do now is promise to be better." He says.

"I don't want us to remember my mom as a victim, but instead as a warrior. Because I know she fought not only for herself, but Shanley too. A mother's love for her kid is unmatched." Cole says and nods while biting his bottom lip.

"She also was more than this.
She was a beautiful young woman.
Gorgeous brown hair, deep brown eyes, a smile that could brighten anyone's mood no matter the circumstances, and she had talent upon talent. Her violin skills were that of none other. She was very smart, passed her nursing exam on the first try with one of the highest grades in the class, she knew every bird in the sky and the songs they sang.
She used to sit out on the porch and play violin, the birds would sing along, and Shanley would sit and watch until she eventually learned to play too."
"Mom my was also one of the best cooks I knew." Cole says then laughs silently over what he's about to say.

"Not that long ago did I burn my toast on the stove. I definitely didn't get her skills." Cole jokes causing some laughs to be heard.

"And for Shanley." He say then takes a deep breath.
"My baby sister." He cries.
"I would do anything to hold you again... and I just hope you're happier now, playing in the clouds by the rainbows and birds you loved so much." He says then wipes his face.

"Shanley took after our mom as well, with her dark features, dimples, intelligence and love for music and nature. At such a young age she could play violin better than I could now, she played "Mary had a little lamb", and "So This is Love" every day, sometimes three times." Cole laughs.
"She got better and better each play through.
She was a very smart girl." He nods.

"And I know that older siblings are usually the role models, but I truly did admire how patient and calm Shanley was even for her age. She always respected our parents and any guardian she came in contact with, she was friends with everyone at school, never got in trouble. She was a good kid." Cole shares.
"Shanley wanted to be a vet for birds specifically, her heart had always been good, she had a want to help others, she had a heart that urned to be good." He says then stops as he chokes up.
He steps back and puts his fingers on his eyes trying to soak up the tears but the flow is too much for the dam that is his hand.
He eventually turns around and puts his head down.

Emily, Caleb, and I look at each other, and that's when Caleb's dad walks up on the stage, Caleb then goes up too.
They get up and just speak in his ear.
None of us can hear what they're saying but we see Cole lift his head up and wipe his eyes with his sleeve.
I see his back go up as he takes a deep breath in.
Caleb pats his back and both him and his dad walk off.
Cole turns around and grabs the podium again.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes then sniffles.
"Shanley...
All I can say is I long to be like you, good."  He says as his lip quivers.

"Last I'll say is I think the Lord took them away at the same time because they couldn't handle life without each other. They were best friends. I truly believe that they needed one another. And I find peace in it." He says and starts to tear up again.

"Now, may they finally be put to rest in the way they deserve.
And may we hear them In Every Bird." He says then steps down back to his seat.
Everyone gives a standing ovation for at least a minute or two.
Cole stands next to me and wipes his tears, taking a deep breath which looks like a weight lifted off his shoulders.

After the service is over, everyone walks by the caskets and gives Cole a hug and their condolences.
Once that's over we all get in our cars and head to the grave sight.
The service there was quick as it was raining, even though we were under a pop up tent.

Everyone throws their flowers onto the caskets after it's lowered and everyone is dismissed.

Cole sits down in his chair under the tent just looking at the holes in the ground.
I walk back over with Caleb and Emily and we sit down with him.

"Your speech was beautiful." I say.

"It was." Emily says as Caleb shakes his head yes in agreement.

"Thank you." He says.
"I just want to stay here a little longer."

"That's okay, take all the time you need." Caleb says.

We sat there in silence for a little bit, until eventually Cole started to tell stories. Some funny, some sad, all in all beautiful though.
We laughed and cried, and as the sun began to set, we figured it was time to leave.
Cole threw his two red roses onto the caskets and we left.