Bigger Secret

Silence

tw: throwing up, sad jemily

I woke up to the dreadful pounding of a headache. 

Fuckkk. Aghuh. Why!

I sat up and started to rub my temples to alleviate the pressure. That didn't do shit. I pulled off the covers and realized I was naked.

Wow, was I too drunk to even put on pajamas?

Something wasn't right, but the first thing on my to-do list was to take a couple Advil and chug a few cups of coffee. Hopefully, something would come back from last night. 

I walked out of the room and made my way towards the kitchen.

"Oh my god!" I practically jumped out of my skin when I saw Emily standing at the sink. She was wearing nothing but a button-down, "What are you doing?!"

She shook her head in disarray, "I woke up in your bed and decided to make breakfast."

Hold up, what?

"Uh, why did you wake up in my bed?" My thoughts were all over the place and nothing really made sense.

Emily laughed a little, "Not exactly sure, but I bet it has something to do with the dried cum on your counter."

What the fuck?

Sure enough, remnants from the previous night were scattered everywhere. I looked around the room and started to gather the clothing.

"Oh god," I picked up my robe and put it on, "I hope you know I'm still mad." 

That I could remember. I wish I didn't, but it was burned into my brain forever. Just the picture-perfect photo in my mind of my girlfriend kissing my co-worker. 

"Oh, I know."

My headache was excruciating. That's what happens when you drink half a bottle of tequila in one night. 

Jesus Christ!

I crouched down and leaned back against the cabinets, pressing my fingers into my skull. Emily sat down next to me and handed me a cup of coffee. I was still very angry at her, but so, so grateful for the coffee. 

I took a sip and stayed quiet. For a while, we just sat on the kitchen floor, drinking our beverages in silence. Then, I got up to get some meds. I popped 2 pills in my mouth and used coffee to wash them down. I glanced at Emily who was staring into her mug, thinking. I wanted to know what was going through her mind at that moment. What she was thinking about. I didn't dare say anything though.

I pulled out a carton of milk from the fridge along with a box of cereal from the pantry and started to make myself breakfast. Still, silence. 

This is just sad.

I took my breakfast and slumped into a chair at the dining table. Eventually, Emily got up and leaned over the sink, splashing water in her face. I couldn't help but stare as she ran her fingers through her hair. The only sounds were birds chirping, echoing through the apartment, which only made it more awkward.

I sat there, mindlessly swirling my spoon around the soggy cereal as I waited for my memory to return. I wasn't sure if I wanted to remember last night though. I wasn't sure whether it would help me forgive her or make me even angrier. I really just wanted all of this to be over, but I couldn't get over it. 

Walking over to the sink, I dumped out the sludge. Not even looking at Emily. If I looked at her, I would kiss her. I had to keep a safe distance between me and her deep, beautiful, dark eyes. No doubt I would get lost in them.