Bigger Secret

Understanding

tw: kinda smut?? (very very short)

Boarding the jet was awkward for everyone. Morgan felt attacked, JJ was self-conscience, and Emily and I hadn't spoken a word to each other in hours. Hotch knew something was up, but thought we would work it out eventually. Garcia was, as always, nosey as fuck. I couldn't blame her. We were all acting very suspiciously. She texted me over and over again, non-stop. Emily's and JJ's phones were going off as well until they turned them off to avoid the constant dinging. The plane was silent until Reid walked over and sat next to Emily.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked leaning over to try and meet her eyes, "I know something's wrong because you're picking at your nails and you only do that when-"

"Reid, don't start," Emily said, cutting him off abruptly.

She was clearly still in her feelings about earlier. It was hard to stay calm because, god damn it, she was hot when she was mad. The clothes she changed into didn't help either. She was wearing a dark grey sweater that dipped very low and a black blazer. She looked fucking amazing. Like holy shit! I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

While the two talked, my mind wandered. It was hard to stay mad at her. She was so considerate this morning when I was sick and she gave me space when I needed it. She also told JJ everything, leaving nothing out. I mean... exept for the sex weekend getaway trip we took and how I was the girl she was dating.

What does she mean by 'finally figured out what she means to me'?

I knew JJ probably felt like shit after what Emily said. She didn't hold back. At all. I moved so I was sitting next to JJ. Maybe I could chat with her a little, make her feel better.

"Hey JJ? Are you okay? Emily sounded pretty harsh earlier..."

JJ looked up from her hands as she played with them under the table, "Oh... ya... uh I'm fine I guess."

"You don't look fine... If you want, we can talk about it?" I touched her wrist slightly, letting her know that I was there for her.

"Really? I don't want to bother you with my stupid drama-"

"JJ, it's not stupid. It's your life."

After my fight with Emily and getting time away from her, I realized none of this was JJ's fault. I felt really bad for her actually. Having to get yelled at in front of your entire team? Ya, I would be a mess.

"It was just so unexpected. Like- I mean she walked out the other night but... she didn't seem mad. Just... worried? Nervous? I don't know. It happened so fast... I- I've only seen that side of her a few times. Usually with unsubs during questioning or standing up to some gross guy who touched her... It was never directed at me."

I stroked her arm a little as she spoke, "I get that. Obviously, I will never see it the same way or have the same experiences as you. I can never fully understand exactly how you're feeling right now, but I can at least listen and try to help."

She smiled faintly and looked back down at her hands, "That kiss. It was magical. I missed her so much, but- but I don't know if I want it to happen again. I think I will always love her but... I think I am now realizing that I can live without her. She was my everything before I ended things. Now, I just want her to be happy."

Wow...

JJ continued, "That girl she was talking about? She sounds like she makes Emily really happy. I think that I might have fucked up her entire life with a single kiss. What the fuck..."

Oh no...

"No JJ, you didn't! You didn't do anything wrong."

She tilted her head sideways, "And how you know that! You heard Emily. They broke up. She said that I ruined everything..."

"Look," I had to think as if I wasn't the girl Emily was talking about, "I'm sure she just didn't quite understand the situation. You had no confirmation that Emily was actually seeing someone. I know I wouldn't be mad at you after I had time to think about that."

"Are you sure? Emily was furious..." JJ frowned and kept twiddling her thumbs.

"Don't worry, you two are inseparable," I gave her a huge smile, ushering her to do the same, "Everything is going to be fine. That girl will figure things out. So will Emily."

JJ smiled back, "Thank you. You are the fucking best."

All of a sudden, my headache returned. Not as bad as earlier, but still painful. With the pain came blurry yet vivid memories.

Oh fuck...

----------

"Fuck... Oh god..."

"You like that?" Emily said, tilting her head as she fucked me.

I faltered as I tried to respond, "Ye- Fuck! Yes!"

Her hand trailed up my bare back, snaking around to stroke my side of my breast. My head fell back as she pushed into me, I was close. Pain started to overwhelm me as pleasure took over.

"Emilyyy! Aghuh! Fuck!"

I gasped as I felt her speed up, pushing me closer and closer. Every stroke making me moan even louder. Everything started to float away. I didn't care about anything but Emily. She was I cared about. My body, sparkling with erotic bliss, arched back as my breath hitched.

Emily bit her lip as she continued. It felt so good... She felt so good...

----------

I looked over at Emily, completely stunned at what had resurfaced from last night. Emily's eyes were wide, staring down at the floor, her hand raked through her hair. They snapped to look at me and I let out a nervous chuckle under my breath. She was having flashbacks too.

What the fuck was I thinking?

Before I could comprehend what was happening, Derek sat down across from me, nudging my shoulder.

"Hey, what's up with you and Em?"

I shook my head a little to try and reconvene with reality, "What? What are you talking about?"

He gave me a funny look and laughed, "Are you the reason she is being such sour-puss today?"

I pursed my lips, "Don't call her that. She's having a rough time with her personal life. It's okay for her to lash out a little."

"Ya, not when you are a respected FBI linguist who is one of the most important assets to this team." Morgan scoffed.

"Dude. Stop it. I get it, she yelled at you, but why is it that you always assume we are fucking people when we come in late or tired? Maybe we are just having a hard day."

His face changed from sarcastic to understanding, "Fine. I guess I do do that."

Rossi leaned over one of the seats, "Most of the time he is correct. You guys screw like rabbits around here."

I choked a little on my breathing, surprised at the snarky yet completely true comment. Derek chucked as she adjusted his headphones and closed his eyes. Rossi raised his eyebrow at me, walking back to sit with Hotch. Now was my chance. I needed to talk to her. I needed to tell her how I was really feeling.

| Hey bros and bitches! Sorry I haven't updated in a hot minute, I've been pretty sidetracked with school stuff. I'm moving back to campus pretty soon, so I'm really excited. I'm not in college, just boarding school, but still super fun. This chapter is short and not very interesting, but I promise the next one will be a lot better. |