Bigger Secret

Zip It

tw: smut (idrk but again, very very short), mentions of rape and murder

Here it goes...

I walked over to Emily and sat down next to her, looking straight ahead, "Hey... I just wanted to talk to you... you know about last night... about-"

"The kiss..."

Eye contact was out of the question. Everything was so robotic and awkward, nothing like what our relationship had been like before. We were so perfect together. It was happy and fun and exciting and the sex was great! How did we lose that just because of a kiss? Why did it get to me so much? Why did I let it get to me so much? I missed her. I missed her everything. Her touch, her voice, her perfume... her tongue... her moans...

----------

"Fuck!" she yelled as the contact on her centre became more intense.

Emily was already panting from the earlier festivities, her chest rising and dipping with each breath.

"Don't stop!" she pleaded, my tongue working circles around her clit.

Her fingers made their way down to tangle in my hair, lightly pulling it. I moaned into her at the motion. I continued, going faster as she pulled harder. Her sounds only got louder...

"Oh god!" she moaned, clenching the sheets with her free hand, "Ohh! Fuck!"

----------

"Oh fuck..." she sighed, her head falling into her hands.

These flashbacks are really fucking with me.

"Uh ya... about the kiss... This whole thing- I just think it's so stupid. Like- like I knew it was coming. I knew it would happen. I saw the way you are around each other but I just brushed it off, but- I don't know..."

"I made that paranoia a reality..."

We made sure to stay extra quiet in case someone was trying to listen in.

I cleared my throat, "Ya... exactly."

Her head moved back up to sit on her shoulders and she turned to look at me.

"You don't know how much regret I have been torturing myself with. That kiss... I don't even know what to say! It was-"

I stopped her, resting my hand on her thigh, "I heard what you said to JJ. That uh... It meant a lot."

I couldn't let her feel this way anymore. I knew she didn't want to be with JJ after what happened between them. I also knew that they would always love each other. I couldn't let that stop me from being with Emily though. I just needed to let it out.

Just spit it out damn it.

"This is killing me. This whole thing- the kiss, whatever last night was, the silence, the hate- I can't handle it. I just can't," my rambling skills kicked in at that moment, "You changed my life and I'm not able to hold that anger I had inside anymore. I thought that it all meant you didn't feel anything towards me, that you really just wanted to be back with JJ but- but I don't think that anymore. I think- I think we just need to stop this. I mean, I can hardly look at you without wanting my lips on yours and god damn it that fucking shirt is really throwing me off today-"

"Slow down." Emily put her hands on my shoulders, calming my nerves.

Her smile warmed my heart, making it skip a beat. I took a deep breath and looked her in the eye, smiling back.