Behind These Walls

15

Crystal's POV

"Crystal?" a voice I soon recognized as Christian's said. I turn to look at him and smile slightly. "Hi." I said bringing my knees to my chest and hugging them, I hiss a little cause pressed on my hands. "I couldn't help but notice you haven't been at school for two days after you were discharged." He said sitting down next to me. I look away from him and let silence fill the empty park.

"Yeah... Uhm my dad just wanted to make sure I was okay before I went back to school." I told him letting out a small breath. He nodded and once again there was silence. "Crystal I'd really like to be your friend." He told me sounding nervous. I look at him wide eyed. I could use a friend like him but my father was just the problem.

"I-I would really like that as well." I told him releasing a sigh. He looked at me with such a wide smile I couldn't help but return it. "When do you plan on coming back?" He asks me leaning back on the bench. "Tomorrow as I'm feeling a bit better and it is a Wednesday so I can catch up on Monday and Tuesday." He nods in understanding.

"You don't look okay Crys, are you good?" He asks drawing his eyebrows together. It's been a while since someone asked me that apart from the hospital. I just felt the tears come at bay trying to escape. "Hey hey hey what's going on?" He asks and wraps his arms around me pulling me into a hug. He hugged me like he knew if he held me tighter my ribs would be in greater pain.

"I don't know Chris, I just feel so out of place with this world. I feel alone, I feel useless, I feel like I was a mistake, I feel worthless, I feel so unwanted and uncared for, Chris this is too much, I just wanna die, I can't keep on living like this, I feel like the only place I can ever be truly happy is when I'm dead, my brother the only one I had loved is now dead and I find no reason left to live. They say reasons to live give reasons to die and now my reason for living and dying is dead. What's left for me to live or die for when it's already been taken away from me?"

I don't know what made me tell him so much but I just felt like I could open up to him, I felt like I could trust him. I was now a crying mess. Christian had now lifted me up so I was sitting on his lap and he was rocking me back and forth. He now got up placed me on the bench and then placed himself on the ground between my legs. He grabbed both my hands, looking at them with furrowed eyebrows since they were both bandaged, but he ignored them and looked me straight in the eyes. He looked disturbed as if he has a million thoughts going on in his head.

"Okay Crystal I want you to listen to me and listen to me good, you are not worthless, useless, unwanted, uncared and a mistake. I can be the only one to care about you so you can see how amazing you are, you have me and Starr and we care about you. Crystal you are beautiful in ways that are humanly impossible. I'm here for you, so is Starr, you are not alone, never will be, I am taking an oath of being with you till the universe decides otherwise. You are not a mistake and if you are then you are the greatest mistake I have ever come across."