Behind These Walls

24

CRYSTAL'S POV

I stared outside the looking at the beach that was a walking distance from here. "Wanna walk to the beach?" He asked bringing me out of my thoughts. I nodded my head. He left cash for the drinks and the waiter's tip. We got up and left. As soon as we were out the door Christian took my hand in his and gave it a light squeeze. I looked at him and smiled a little bit but he was focused on the road ahead.

We got to the beach. Before walking on the sand I took of my takkies so did Chris. Feeling the sand kidnap my toes was so soothing. It was like that small ray of sunlight you get on a cloudy day... You want more of it. We sat down on the sand and let the sun worship our bodies. I pulled my knees to my chest and layed my head there and looked at Chris to find him already looking at me. "It was my first time today... Cutting that is. It was the first thing that came to mind, I needed to escape for a little while, I needed to feel pain and I happened to have a razor so I used it." I told him trying to stop my tears from falling.

"My father... He has been hitting me since I was five, after mom left things changed, he wasn't the caring and loving father I knew him to be. He became a monster, being a kid I never really understood why he beat me up, but as I grew older I found out it was because I remind him too much of mom and I'm a burden to him. Starr doesn't know about this, neither should you but I trust you." I said all in one breath."The day you were in hospital after passing out in the shower, the broken ribs and bruises were from him?" I nodded my head because if I were to say another thing I'd breakdown.

"The bandages on the hands was him too, you rushing home after the movies, being absent at school, wearing baggy clothes and long sleeved shirts all the time, it's all him." I nodded even though I knew he wasn't asking. "Crystal why didn't you say anything?"  I look at him finally letting the tears fall. "I..
Couldn't. I was afraid." He turned to look at me as if I swore at him. "You couldn't Crys or  You didn't want to say anything? ." That felt like a slap on the face.

"You think I enjoyed being silent about the abuse my father had put me through, you seriously think I had a choice if I wanted to tell someone, do you think it is nice coming home to a drunk father, coming to a home with no warmth, no mother and welcoming, just darkness, pain and sorrow. You came into my life only five minutes ago, you don't know half the crap I've been through for you to tell me things I couldn't and didn't want to do, I had no choice, this man killed my brother, he wouldn't think twice about killing a friend of mine, so don't tell me about stuff you know nothing about!!!"

I was beyond angry, I'm not even sure if furious was still the right word. I saw red. The anger and resentment towards my father finally coming to surface. I feel my face is wet and I realised that I have been crying this whole time. Wiping my tears, I stand up and leave.