Lena's Love

Caught By The Janitor

Today is going to be a bad day.

I have decided to take the very mature route of ignoring Ajax. My mom looked so sad when I told her under no circumstances should she let Ajax in, or gossip about us to Tamiko. I overheard them whispering together, assuring each other that it's just a 'tiff.' They're annoyed that neither of us will spill what went wrong, but of course as Ingrid is hanging around their house Tamiko suspects she has something to do with it. I hate the pitiful eyes my mom keeps giving me, but I leave the room if she tries to make me talk about it. I cancelled babysitting the girls yesterday. I woke up with bad hayfever and a broken heart, and definitely couldn't handle seeing him or her. I slept terribly as Ajax kept calling out for me and tapping on my window, but of course I ignored him. My curtains haven't been opened in days, as they serve as a physical barrier. If I see him I might cry again and I must avoid that at all costs.

I heard her in his room yesterday. I wonder what they were doing. My mind went to some pretty dark places.

I'm not angry at Ajax. He hasn't done anything wrong. He didn't make me fall in love with him. That was my own fault. My mom saying it's just a 'tiff' suggests he likes me back and we will get together. Well, it's more then a silly fallout between lovers. It's the end of my feelings. My stubborn head has made its mind up. I should have guarded my heart better.

I just need a bit of space to cope with my feelings and then we can go back to being buds. I can't cope being alone with him though. I blocked his number as he kept blowing my phone up, and in the end I completely switched it off as I kept getting tempted to call him and see what he's doing with perfect, lovable Ingrid.

The amount of icecream I consumed yesterday should have been a crime. I have been ghosting everyone and laying in bed miserable. It's now Monday and I am actively avoiding him, wearing a big ugly hoodie to remain under cover. I thought
about chopping my hair off and dying it brown, but I figured that was a bit extreme. It would only really work if I changed my face, and of course I can't do that.

The surgery is way out of my budget.

Some part of me knows I'm being ridiculous and unfair, but I'm too stubborn and scared of the truth to face him. I'm 88.3% sure he is back with his ex which makes me feel like I've got heart burn. I keep my head down and hurry through the corridors until I accidentally bump into someone.

"Lena?" Oh please, no.

"Hey Kat." I wave awkwardly. Great, another one of Ajax's exes to deal with.

"Heya, you ok girl? You look tired." She comments.

Thanks. I'm only at school because my mom threatened me with physical violence if I didn't get up, so sorry if I don't look runway ready at 8:15 on a Monday morning! Of course Kat looks fresh-eyed and perfect, with her Afro tamed and dark skin glowing against her lilac shirt.

"I'm fine." I give her a tight-lipped smile.

"So... Ingrid posted a picture outside Ajax's house. Is she back?"

My breath catches in my throat as I lean against the lockers, out of the way of the chattering freshman's who brush past us.

"Yeah." I mutter quietly.

"So she's with Ajax?" I nod and cross my arms over my chest. "Well he's an absolute freaking idiot. I don't want to believe it. I really thought Ajax broke things off with me to go official with you. I wondered what was taking so long. I can't believe I was wrong... Ew." She wrinkles her nose in disappointment.

"You should talk to him if you want details. I only know she was hanging around his house on Saturday." I reveal, trying not to sound miserable.

"She always did have her claws in him. She's all boobs and no brains Lena, from the side she looks like a capital P."