𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲

chapter 12

A/N: Some more about Y/N's past...?
P.S. Don't worry, you will find out EVERYTHING soon :]

WARNING: Near panic attack

You're out of your apartment fairly quickly the next day, since you'd woken up a little late and were rushing to get ready. You notice Seojun's motorbike parked outside your apartment building and you're a little confused about why he hadn't taken it to school, but don't have the time to ponder too much since you're running late.

You rush to school and luckily manage to make it in time, with a few minutes to spare, and as you walk through the gate you see Seojun.

You're still coming to terms with the fact that you like him, but you'd been trying your best to act normal. You don't want to start avoiding him just because you figured out you were developing feelings for him, not wanting things to be any different. You take a step in his direction to greet him and ask about his motorbike.

You pause, however, when you see him approaching Jugyeong - not noticing you - and watch in confusion as he tosses his keys to her. You glance to the side and notice Suho standing a few metres away from you, also watching the interaction. Your heart drops when Seojun leans down to Jugyeong's height and says something to her with a smile on his face.

You just stand there for a while, not knowing how to feel, until both Seojun and Suho walk away and only Jugyeong remains. You try to erase the sadness in your heart and force a smile before walking up to Jugyeong, tapping her on the shoulder to get her attention. She smiles when she sees you, and the two of you walk into school together.

You arrive at your homeroom class with a few minutes to spare before your first lesson, and you just stand by Jugyeong's desk and chat with her like you do every morning before classes start. Your conversation is cut short when Seojun walks in, and when you see the smile on his face as he bickers with Jugyeong you just take a deep breath and walk over to your seat.

You make eye contact before you leave to sit down, but you don't say anything and just get your things out dejectedly. Seojun watches you in confusion, because you normally greet him each morning with the biggest smile, but today you just quietly sit down while fidgeting with your fingers. He doesn't get the chance to question it though, because your teacher walks in to start the first lesson of the day. 

At lunch you get your food and walk over to sit with your friends, but when you see Seojun already sitting there beside Jugyeong you just turn around with a sigh and sit with Chorong and the others on the next table instead. You wordlessly sit down and start eating, while they all look at one another in confusion before looking back at you.

"Can't I sit with you guys?" you ask with a smile when you look up after taking a bite of your food. They break out of their dazes and smile back at you after a few seconds.
"Of course you can! Our pretty friend Y/N is always welcome to join us," Chorong cheers as he wraps an arm around your shoulder, his words and actions cheering you up and making you giggle.

You all start eating while conversing with one another, and you begin to forget your previous sadness. After a few minutes Seojun leans back to call his friends for something, so they all get up and stand in a line beside Jugyeong's table to present her with a few trays of food for her to eat.

You just watch as they start cheering at Seojun's words and actions towards Jugyeong. Your heart drops and you lose your appetite when you see the way Seojun puts his arm around Jugyeong's shoulder, moving her hair out of the way to prevent it from falling into her food.

You swallow thickly before picking up your tray and exiting the cafeteria, despite only having a few bites of your lunch. Since everyone's so busy watching Jugyeong and Seojun they don't notice you leaving, but Chorong and Jugyeong do.

You walk to the bathroom with the intention of rinsing your face, but when you enter you see a group of girls surrounding one of the stalls. You stay by the door in confusion, the girls not noticing you yet, and you gasp when you realise Gowoon is the one being bullied.

You let out a shaky breath because the scene looks too familiar, and you immediately feel yourself start to panic. You try to push it back for the sake of helping Gowoon, since she's really important to you and you don't want her to go through something like that.

"What do you think you're doing?" you demand, and it's only at this point that the girls realise you're standing there.
"Who are you?" one of them asks, seemingly unbothered by the fact that they'd just been caught bullying someone.

"I'm her older sister," you say, glancing at her quickly, "so you better move away from her right now." Just when you feel yourself starting to shake, the door swings open and Jugyeong luckily comes to the rescue along with Soojin and Sua. Jugyeong follows after Gowoon when she runs out, and you run in the opposite direction after glancing at Soojin - you know that she will sort things out with the girls who were bullying Gowoon.

Your chest shudders as you run, and you take in a shaky breath out of fear when you realise what's happening to you - this is the first time you've had a panic attack since joining this school. You continue running, not really knowing where to go but just trying to get away and find somewhere to go in order to calm yourself down.

In your state you don't realise that you bump into someone until they physically grab onto you and force you to stop running, and when you look up you're met with Seojun's worried eyes which are darting between your own.
"What's wrong?" he asks, but you shake your head and push him away.
"I'll tell you another time, I have to go," you breathe out quickly before taking off once again, not giving him a chance to respond.

He moves to follow you but gets distracted by his friends when they run over to him, not knowing you were there. You find an empty area outside the school building and just lean against the wall, placing your hand onto your chest as you try to regain your breath. You close your eyes when you feel tears forming, the memories starting to flow back.

You enter one of the bathroom stalls and close the door, only to be completely covered in water. You spin around and open the door to see the popular girls in your school laughing at you, one of them holding the bucket that previously contained the water which is now soaking through your clothes. Two of them grab onto each of your arms and drag you outside, shoving you onto the floor once you're in the hallway.

You whimper quietly from the pain in your hands since you'd used them to break your fall, and when you look up you notice a crowd already beginning to form in the hallway around you.
"How's our favourite little singer doing?" one of them asks, crouching down to your level slowly. You squeeze your eyes shut when you hear laughter ringing throughout the hallways.

When you don't respond one of them clicks their tongue in annoyance, reaching up to take a chunk of your hair into her hands and pulling roughly. Your head snaps back from the sheer force she applies and you gasp, your eyes meeting Hyunwoo's now that you're looking up. He has his arms crossed as he leans against the wall nearby, watching you being attacked with an evil smirk on his face - he was enjoying this.

"Didn't we tell you not to do well in the music evaluations?" the girl pulling your hair tugs it back even harder, and you feel your neck begin to ache from the way your head is bending backwards. You don't answer, just gritting your teeth and closing your eyes as you wait for it to be over.

You gasp when you realise your mind is drifting and your breathing is beginning to quicken once again, so you quickly try to think about something else to get your mind off it. You could not have a panic attack at school just minutes before your next lesson is about to start, you needed to calm yourself down.

You think of your new school, and your new friends who love and care for you. You think of your mother, and how she's the healthiest and happiest that she's been in a long time. You think about Seojun. You let out a relieved sigh when you feel your breathing starting to return to normal, glad that you were able to calm yourself down before having a full panic attack.

You lean into the wall completely with your back against it, looking up with a sigh.
"What's wrong with you," you mumble to yourself when you think back to what happened both in the bathroom and the cafeteria, "this isn't going to be easy, is it?" You let out another sigh of defeat.