𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲

chapter 27

A/N: I was dying from laughter because of all of the reactions to yesterdays chapter about how you would all have to anxiously wait for the next update, so here you go!

You arrive at school the following Monday after spending the weekend resting, having gotten back from your trip the previous Friday. Jugyeong had told you almost immediately after arriving back on the Friday about the fact that she and Suho are now dating, and the two of you had been on the phone for hours that evening.

You couldn't have been happier for her, knowing how great of a person Suho is despite the way he comes across to others, and happy that they're finally together after liking each other for a while. After everything the two of them have gone through, you're just happy that they have each other.

When you see the two of them sharing smiles and glances at school you know why, but understand why they've chosen to hide their relationship for the time being. You know what kind of backlash Jugyeong could receive if the news gets out, so you understand her feelings completely. You just look over and smile at the way they keep looking at one another as soon as they arrive at school.

You're smiling softly at the way they act in your homeroom class as you wait for your first lesson to begin, but when Seojun enters your smile disappears and you quickly look down at your work to pretend like you're writing something. Seojun had spent most of the morning in Chorong's classroom after arriving at school, trying to avoid everyone - not only does he not want to see Jugyeong and Suho together, he's also not ready to see you.

You hadn't spoken to him at all since the day he had dropped you off at your tent after injuring yourself. You had spoken normally to Chorong and everyone else, as if nothing had happened, but whenever he appeared it was as if he didn't exist. He couldn't figure out what he had done to make you so upset with him.

On the coach journey back from the trip you sat with Chorong once again, but you were silent throughout the journey. You just kept your head rested on Chorong's shoulder, and he understood from your expression and actions that you clearly didn't want to talk.

Aside from that you had tried your absolute best to avoid Seojun at all costs. You hadn't even visited their house over the weekend to give them dinner - which you hadn't been doing as often anyways since Seojun's mothers recovery - or hang out with him and Gowoon like you normally do.

Seojun would've stayed in Chorong's class all day if he could, but when the bell rings to signal that lessons will be starting soon he has no choice but to get up and head to his own classroom. You just keep your head down for the entire lesson, while Seojun looks at you the whole time. He tries to get your attention to figure out what's going on with you, but you don't look up. You do take a few glances in his direction, unable to stop yourself, but you quickly look away after realising that he's staring.

Seojun takes a quick glance at your wrist, but his heart drops when he can't locate the bracelet he'd gifted you. The realisation that you aren't wearing it worries him more, because you had worn it every day during the trip (even on the final day when you weren't talking to him).

When the lesson is over your homeroom teacher looks around for a few moments before his eyes land on you. He notices how distracted you are, and seeing you act so different worries him.
"Y/N?" he calls out, but you're in such a daze that you don't even notice he's talking to you. Suho has to lean forward and tap your shoulder before you realise you're being spoken to.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" he asks when he finally has your attention. You nod and stand up as he leaves the room, making eye contact with Jugyeong who looks at you worriedly. You force a smile to reassure her that there's nothing to worry about, but when you meet Seojun's gaze you look down at the floor and quickly follow your teacher out.

You follow him to a nearby corridor where he turns to you with a worried smile.
"Are you feeling okay?" he asks and you nod slowly, your eyes remaining downcast. "I didn't know you had panic attacks, the one you had on Thursday looked pretty bad. If there's something bothering you make sure to let me know okay?" You force a smile at his words.

"Don't worry Ssaem, I promise I'm okay! If I do need anything I'll definitely speak to you about it, though, thank you," you respond politely, bowing at him. After receiving a nod and a kind - yet worried - smile, you turn around with the intention of going to the bathroom, the corners of your mouth immediately dropping when you turn away.

When you turn into the next corridor, however, you freeze when you see Seojun standing at the corner with a crestfallen expression on his face. You gasp and your eyes widen, realising that he must've heard the conversation. You gulp and try to walk past him, but he grabs you by the shoulders and moves you to face him.

"You had another panic attack?" He asks softly, staring into your eyes as he waits for a response. His voice is so gentle, but the worry and sadness is evident in his tone.
"It's no big deal, I'm fine now," you respond, pushing his hands off you gently without meeting his eyes.

He watches you walk away, his heart breaking at the fact that he didn't know you'd gone through that. He can't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day, feeling guilty for not being there to help you through it after promising you he would.

You don't sleep much that night, partially because of the conversation you had with Seojun earlier but also because of something that happened in your homeroom class that day.

Your homeroom teacher had given out applications for each of you to fill with your desired career choices, and it had suddenly occurred to you that you have absolutely no idea what you want to do in the future. You just spend that night thinking about what you really want to do with your life.