peculiar boy- sleepyboisinc royalty au + dreamteam

chapter seventeen, desperate love

Tommy's POV (as always)
btw switching clay to dream cuz I want to write about his online persona and not him irl

The leaves rustle as the chilly winter wind blows against them. My body shudders from the gust. I hear a tapping noise against the concrete balcony, turning my head to meet the tap. There he is.

"Did you miss me?" Dream smirks crouching on the balcony's edge.

Tears prick my eyes as my lip quivers. Every feeling of homesickness I've felt all week rushes back to me. I want my big brother. I need him. I run over to him my footsteps loudly pound against the ground. My arms wrap around my elder brother melting into his arms. This is where I should be, where I need to be. My weak arms and legs give in falling into him my head buried in his chest. He rests his chin on my head his hands combing through my hair.

"Shh," he hushes calming my tears. "Everything's going to be fine, your big brother's here." He shouldn't worry about that. I've already cried all my tears out. My arms stiffen holding onto Dream like a lifeline. His hands run from my hair to my back rubbing it calmingly. I tilt my head up to look at him. A smirk planted on his face. I sink back into his arms ignoring his creepy smile. We all show love differently.

"I missed you," I whisper. My feet practically go numb, shaking from the lack of feeling.

Dreams expression snaps from a smile to an upset scowl. He pushes me off him. I stumble backward regaining my lost balance. "Why did you leave me? You abandoned me," he frowns.

"I-I didn't mean to," I stutter. "They a-all jumped me. Then Technoblade and W-Wilbur just happened to be there to save me. They took m-me back here and well... I had no choice. You understand r-right?"

His expression doesn't falter staying as stern as before. He hates stuttering. I know that. But I'm just so stressed, I can't help it. I don't expect him to understand. I just hope he'll forgive me someday.

"I understand."

"Really?" I blurt. A wide smile spreads on my face.

"Mhm, I understand completely," he smiles. "I mean, I didn't expect you to be the type of person to use others to get rich but I guess it's always the ones you least expect."

"What?"

"It's quite clear actually," he clears his throat. "You saw the place where the grass was greener so you hopped the fence to the other side. Using the entire royal family, you have an endless supply of money at your fingertips."

"That's not it, they took me in," I protest.

He raises an eyebrow. "Are you really that naive? Do you think they care for you?" he questions waving his finger in disappointment. "You're just charity work to make them look good, to impress everyone."

"But—" the words don't leave my mouth, unable to communicate the words. I turn my head back to my room peering through the doorway. I spot a peek of the small stuffed animal dog Wilbur gave me when I first got here. Was it really all fake? Everything they did for me was just out of pity.

"I thought you were smarter than this. I'm the only one here for you." He cups my cheek with his cold hand pulling my face to meet his mask. His other hand glides to his head pulling it to the side of his head revealing his face. His cold dead emerald eyes stare into my soul with a deep scar covering the left one. "I'm the only one who cares for you."

Everything freezes. Air stops flowing through my lungs. They don't care. Not really. Only Dream cares. He's there for me. I betrayed him. I abandoned him. I need to fix this. I need to make this up to him. I take a shaky deep breath finally able to breathe once more. "I'm sorry," I apologize. I hang my head in shame, disappointment.

"I'm sure you can make it up to me somehow," he purrs.

My eyes drift to the floor. I feel so angry at everything. I hate myself. I hate that stupid dog plush. I hate Wilbur and Technoblade. I hate the stupid castle. And even though I don't want to admit it, I hate Dream. I want to get away from it all. It was easier when it was just me and him living in our small little house, I would train every day and he would be there to look after me. I rest my head in the crook of his neck leaving the weight on his shoulder. "Can we go home?" I whimper.

"No."

"No?" I crumple.

"You need to stay here for now." The words pierce through my heart.

"Why?" I cry.

Dream grins. I don't want to listen to him. I want to scream. But I also don't have a choice. He softly rubs my cheek to calm me down but I tense even more. "It's how you'll make it up to me. I heard of a masquerade ball coming up soon here. Your job is to attend. Meanwhile, you need to gather useful information on the masquerade."

"Alright," I nod.

"Think of it like a mission, m'kay," he suggests. His hand glides from my cheek to my shoulder holding it with a firm grip. I slowly nod my head, my brain still spinning from the new information. Dream pulls away walking to the edge of the balcony. "See you tomorrow, same place."

"Dream," I whisper.

"Hm?" he perks his head up turning back to me.

"Are you going to attack the party

He smiles out of confirmation. "Possibly."

"By yourself?"

Dream shakes his head using his hand to wipe his messy hair out of his face resulting in a small piece of paper falling onto the floor. He walks back over to me pressing something into my hand. "I have a few tricks up my sleeve," he admits.

I hesitate for a minute as he walks back to the edge. "Please stay safe," I sigh.

"I will."

"I love you."

"I love you more."

Footsteps echo behind me. A fist pounds on my door. "Tommy! Are you alright?" My head spins around. Wilbur stands in the doorway of my room his eyes searching for me. He doesn't care. Stop pretending.

"Hi," I mumble.

"Are you ok? I heard you talking to someone."

I spin my head back around. He's gone. I rest my elbows on the balcony looking into the blurry night sky dotted with twinkling stars. "I was just talking to myself," I lie.

"Your eyes are puffy, do you need to talk?" he asks, pitying me.

"No," I sigh, emotionally exhausted. "I just want to be left alone."

His shoulders lower, disappointed. "I'm here if you need me." Yeah right. He spins around shutting the door behind him. His fingers linger for a moment before the door closes. Just a moment. One second maybe. He looked guilty. He is guilty.

I feel myself collapse as soon as the door shuts. I didn't want him to leave. So why did I tell him to? My eyes look down to the object Dream placed in my hands earlier. Pills. More pills. I pop one into my mouth. I'll feel better. I look down at the small crumpled piece of paper Dream dropped. I don't think I've ever related to an inanimate object more in my life. I fold it open.

VINMJWWRMXKUEOCZRJZMPWN

Is he just a really bad speller? It's just a bunch of gibberish. I throw it off the balcony. It's useless. Not important. Just like me. I should— no. I have a mission. A goal to complete. I should at least finish my mission before even considering it as an option.

Despite the tornado of thoughts spinning through my brain, one thought stands out. One in particular.

I'm cold.

a/n
whew, depressing chapter go brrrrr
dream is a bitch in this story /j
also here are a few hints for the cipher (I'm salty it was solved so fast last time so I tried to make it harder)
-my birthday is on 6/5
-don't use the letter q
keeping it vague cause I want revenge
anyways, have a pog day, you are awesome!

word count: 1411