Uncle: I know your dad just died, but he fought till the very end.
Kid: My dad died of drug overdose.
Uncle: Yea, but he killed a lot of people to get those drugs.
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What should you say to your single friend on valentines day?
Happy Independence Day.
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Kid: Mom, can I borrow $20?
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money?
Kid: Isn't that what M.O.M stands for?
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A doctor tells his patient,
"I have bad news and worse news."
His patient says, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is you have 24 hours to live." "That's terrible!", he says, "What could be any worse than that?!" "The worse news is, I forgot to tell you yesterday."
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Homework is....
Half
Of
My
Energy
Wasted
On
Random
Knowledge
