One Shots

Forever and Always (Jardougall)

So the plan of updating everyday of this week didn't exactly work, there is a couple of reasons why but rather than boring you with that I channeled all of my stupid emotions into a short story, enjoy.

Sorry if it's not brilliant.

Warnings: small mention of abuse, suicidal themes.

~

Tay POV:

I sat swinging in the abandoned park, back and forth, going higher with each push.

Today is my last day. I have given up.

I begin to slow down, I almost completely stop before reaching into my bag and digging out a flask. I take a mouthful from the flask, the taste burning my throat on the way down. It's 2015 for fuck sake, you'd think they'd have a better tasting vodka by now.

I can still remember the first time I came here, when it was shiny and new. I was nine and Jenna was seven, she was so excited. That's what you are when you're seven, though, excited. She dragged me around the whole park, we were the only one's there because it was so early, my parents were barely awake when I told them we were going to the park. Jenna was ecstatic, she had been waiting for weeks, ever since the announcement of the park was made, finally we were there. We were playing in the small, new park.

She said that the swings were her favourite, ever since she first saw the bright red painted frame, the small black seats with a silver chain attaching it, they were her favourite.

Everyday after that I would return to the park and there she was, smiling, happy, swinging. I'd take the left seat and she'd take the right. We never spoke. There was no need. We would just swing until it was dark and I had to go home.

I remember when I was fourteen, Jenna was twelve, I walked straight to the park after school. It was the first time I had arrived and not seen her swinging, instead she was kneeling next to her swing. I didn't question her, just took my seat and observed. She had a knife in her hand and was carving her name into the seat. "There," she said when she was done, "now everyone knows that is my swing, forever and always."

It still is her swing, she was the last person to sit on it.

My swing doesn't have my name on it, instead there is a heart carved into the middle followed by a questionmark. I was sixteen when Jenna carved that. It was her way of asking me to be her girlfriend, and of course I said yes.

I was sat on this swing, my swing, when I had my first kiss, it was a week later.

A year later was when I told her that I love her, she said that she will always love me.

Only a few months later was when it happened. It was my eighteenth birthday and I went straight to the park to meet Jenna. I walked over to my swing, she wasn't there yet so I assumed she was running late. As I approached my seat I noticed a small envelope with my name on it, the same letter in my hand right now.

Tay,
By the time you are reading this it'll be your eighteenth birthday. Happy Birthday. Unfortunately by the time your reading this I'll already be gone. I would've stayed to wish you a happy birthday in person but I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. I tried to hold on, honestly I did, but you if all people know how hard it is. I thought I was strong enough but now with my mom gone I've caved, my dad can't control me when I am gone. I wish I could've said my goodbye in person but I knew that you'd talk me out of it, or watch over me until you think I am stable again. The truth is that nothing you can do will save me, I am just an unstable mess and I am sorry but it's the truth. Don't forget about me though, I will love you for eternity. That doesn't mean you can't move in though, keep saving up, move into that apartment we wanted, go to college, meet a hot girl and tap that.
Happy birthday, good luck, I love you. Never forget that. I love you more then you could ever know, you are my best friend and girlfriend and I couldn't ask for anyone better. See you in hell,
Jenna.

Every time I read the letter I cry. I didn't want to believe it at first, I ran straight to her house, I climbed in through her bedroom window and there she was, pale, hair in her face, an empty pill bottle in hand. I hated seeing her like that.

I see her dead body every time I close my eye's, I can't take it anymore, I need to be with her again and there is only one way.

I ignite the flame of my lighter, moving the flame to the letter in my hand setting it alight. I watch as the fire danced across the page, eventually dropping it in the trash can next to the swing set.

I reach into my bag pulling out the already tied rope. Climbing onto my seat, I tie the rope onto the top of the swing set before placing the loop around my neck. This is it.

I take one last look around the park, it's no longer new. Paint is flaking off the play equipment, most of the surfaces are covered in writing, random things that kids wrote in Sharpie. I look down at Jenna's seat, "forever and always." I whisper before taking the step off my seat.