Us (Bellarke Fanfic)

[chapter twenty seven - clarke]

It was nice to see my mom again. 

Once we got past the awkwardness, Marcus Kane turned out to be a pretty nice guy. He's good at cooking, which is great for my mom, who strongly dislikes spending hours in the kitchen preparing a meal. He's smart, and rather funny, too. He and Bellamy kind of hit it off, talking about a bunch of stuff I didn't really have any interest in. 

The most important thing is that he makes my mom happy. 

We ended up spending the night, which Octavia was apparently prepared for. She packed us toothbrushes, pj's and even pillowcases in her 'in case bag'. 

Now we're back in the car, on our way to New York. 

Spending the weekend with my mom reminded me of how things used to be - simple, peaceful. Even though there were two new people there, I liked the energy we had. We ate together, we watched TV. I slept on the couch in the living room, since Bellamy insisted he take the chair. It was nice. I miss living with my mom, as much as I want to pretend I don't. 

Bellamy is humming a song I don't recognize, filling the silence. He was surprisingly chill with the visit, which was nice. I like him a lot more when he's not finding a reason to be mad at me every five seconds. 

Bellamy stops humming, looking over at me. 

"You good?" he asks. 

"Yeah," I reply, smiling at him. "Just thinking."

"About what?" he asks, returning his gaze to the road. 

"Stuff."

"Care to elaborate?"

I sigh. "I just kind of... miss stuff."

Bellamy raises an eyebrow. "Very descriptive, Princess."

"I miss my mom," I explain. "I miss living in my house. I mean, living with you and Octavia is great. It's fun, it's easy. But I love my mom, and I miss seeing her everyday. This weekend... I was really happy, Bell. I'd never even been in that apartment before, but something felt right."

He's silent, waiting for me to keep talking. 

"I guess I didn't really appreciate it when I was living at home," I continue. "In my room, with all my stuff. And then I moved into your place, and I was excited, but then everything kind of started to fall apart. And yesterday, everything kind of just... snapped back into place. I realize that's what I want. That feeling of everything just being right." I don't even know how to explain it to him. I don't even know how to explain it to myself. Maybe it was knowing Mom was there, maybe it was knowing we're in a good place again. 

I feel happy. 

"You could stay, you know," Bellamy says after a moment. "In Washington."

I look over at him. "I don't think I could. Maybe someday... but there are so many other things I have in New York."

"But you said you miss her," Bellamy reminds me. "You could move to Washington, you wouldn't have to miss her any more."

"That's the thing," I say. "There are so many other things I would miss." 

"But you were happy," Bellamy says, taking a moment to look at me as he stops at a light. "I saw it. You were smiling more than ever."

I look at the ground. Was I? 

"Do you want me to leave?" I ask. "Is that why you're pushing?"

"No," he says quickly. "I just want to know what you're thinking."