Thomas and the maid

Should I Tell Him?

I dabbed a cool cloth on my forehead. I came out of the bathroom and laid down on the sofa. What had happened during the night was so unbelievably painful I didn't even want to think about it. I was so weak I could barely make it out of bed. I looked at the clock: 6 in the morning. Thomas would be getting up soon to get ready. I had just planned to tell him I was ill. I couldn't bear to tell him the truth. I decided to call Dr Clarkson myself and have him examine me once Thomas left.
I heard the floor creak and out stepped Thomas in his light blue pajamas; his hair messy. He rubbed his eyes and then turned and saw me.
Thomas: Kimmy? What are you doing out here? Are you ill?
Kimberly: Yes. I just didn't want you to get sick.
He knelt beside the sofa.
Thomas: Kimmy, you know I'm the best doctor there is.
He gave me a wink and I blushed. Even when we were alone it still felt odd when we spoke like that to each other.
Kimberly: I'm afraid you're going to be on your own today.
Thomas: Of course I'll miss you desperately but I'm glad you're getting rest for a change.
He went over and filled the kettle and put it on the stove.
Thomas: I'm just going to get dressed and then I'll get you your tea.
I smiled and then started to tear up. He was one of the sweetest people I'd ever met and if he ever knew what this was it would be devastating for him. I also knew I couldn't bear this burden alone. He came out with his suit on. His collar was open and his valet tie was hanging loosely around his neck. He poured me some tea and brought it to me. When he bent over I grabbed his shirt and buttoned it. Then I tied his tie.
Thomas: Goodbye darling.
We kissed. He grabbed his trenchcoat and hat and left. I drank a sip of my tea and decided to get ready for Dr Clarkson. I called the hospital and scheduled an appointment. I caught the bus and headed inside.
After the agonizing exam, Dr. Clarkson invited me to sit across from him at his desk.
Dr. Clarkson: Mrs. Barrow, it appears you have suffered a miscarriage.
Even though I had already known, I hadn't heard someone say those words out loud before. Even though it was gut wrenching to hear, I kept my composure.
Dr. Clarkson: Were you doing anything strenuous? Have you been overly stressed?
Kimberly: I don't believe so. I didn't even know I was pregnant.
Dr. Clarkson: Well according to my examination, you seem healthy and capable enough to have a child when the time suits you.
Kimberly: So you don't know why this happened?
Dr. Clarkson: Sometimes it happens when it's your first pregnancy. It's fairly normal.
Normal? How is losing a baby considered normal? I thanked him and left.
The next day, I decided to go back to work. I wasn't having any blood loss anymore and my strength had come back. Plus, I didn't want Thomas to question me too much. I would just break down and in doing that, break his heart. I decided I needed to tell someone what had happened. I had Anna come into Mrs. Hughes sitting room and I told them the whole story. I told them about my dilemma with wondering if I should tell Thomas.
Mrs. Hughes: Kimberly I know this is a very tragic thing, but you have to tell him. You can't grieve by yourself.
Anna: This is his baby too. He has a right to know.
I knew what they were saying was true. Throughout the week I thought about what I should do. Finally, I decided to tell him after work one evening. We went to the cottage and were sitting on the sofa. I took a deep breath.
Kimberly: Darling? Do you remember when I told you I was ill and couldn't go to the Abbey?
Thomas: Yes?
Kimberly: Well that was true, but there's also something you should know. I woke up in the night with terrible pain. I didn't know what was going on and then...
My mind flashed to the horrible moment I had realized what had happened.
Kimberly: I lost...I lost our baby.
I broke into sobs. I couldn't even imagine how Thomas would react. He reached over and silently embraced me. I collapsed into his arms.
Thomas: Our baby.
He whispered that fraze into my ear.
Thomas: Why didn't you tell me before?
Kimberly: Because I knew you were still grieving for Lady Sybil and you were already nervous about me having children. But then I thought about the vows we took: for better for worse; in sickness and in health. I figured this fell into multiple of those categories.
He rubbed my arm and kissed my head.
Kimberly: And another reason. I made you tell me everything before we got married. It's not right of me to demand that of you and keep this a secret.
Thomas: One day, there's going to be children running through this house.
Kimberly: Really?
Thomas: Yes.
Kimberly: So you'd let our children run around the house?
We laughed.
Thomas: Maybe. Who doesn't love a rebellious child?
Kimberly: I assume you're talking about yourself?
Thomas: Don't you remember? I was a quiet child. But with who I am now, I wouldn't mind a little challenge. But not until you're ready.
Kimberly: I can't wait.
We kissed and snuggled together as we watched the fire steadily burn in our fireplace.