the journal of life

Chapter 23

1 year later...

Sat on the sofa next to my friend sonja. I look around me and think about last year. What if i hadn't move? What if i never did the stuff i did all for a stupid boy who in the end as forgotten about me. Thats when i realized that happy endings don't exit. That what i have here in this moment is whats real. My friends, family...thats whats real, people that i will have with me for ever not for a moment. I realized that i spent all my time looking to feel wanted to fine where i belong that i forgot about the people who truly did care, yes me and my parents still fight over thing especially my dad and i can't fix that. i do what to love him i do but he just makes it hard. He wants me to be something I'm not and i don't care if he hates me for refusing it. Ashton caused a lot of trouble for me in my life, i mean it wasn't only him it was also me. I was in a dark place back then a cold corner that i only lived in i guess that Ashton was just a distraction from all that. I had my brothers although i sometimes wish they just get lost , my mom, Melanie who even so i treated her like crap still loved me he same and jack who i avoided half of the time. ah even Eva the little nosy brat, yeah she piss me off sometimes but it doesn't mean i love her any less. I have new friends and some old that stuck with me till the end of my dark age. Something zuri and matt didn't do.
***
I watch as my mother when around passing food to our guest.
'' scoot over.'' ty saids as he pushes my body aside.
''ya sure ty you can sit there.'' i say sarcastically. i knew ty way back since 7th grade. Although we never actually talked till he found out my aunt was well my aunt. He and i are like water and oil.. we don't mix, Ty was always part of the popular bad boy group. Until he got expelled from school that is. From there he changed he became a little more supportable but like i said just a little.
''i wasn't asking but ok.'' rolling my eyes i move over.
'' whats your deal seriously i don't do shit to you and you hate me.''
'' i don't hate you..'' he said as he stared down at his phone. he leveled it up a little.
'' ha look what my friend just posted.'' i moved over but not to close. there on the screen with a picture of me. i punch him i knew he posted it he probably took it when he pulled out his phone.
'' what would you do that you ass!!''i punched him again a he died of laughter.
'' it got 3 views already!!'' he smiled like if i cared.
'' you still talk to metty? i ask as i read one of the users.'' he nodded the spoke.
'' sorta its complicated.'' i said nothing.
'' jose is not really your friend.'' he said i looked at him shocked. Why would he talk about my best friend especially out of random.
'' what do you mean?" The words flow out.
'' jose matchado ''
'' yea what about him?'' i say more defensively this time.
'' he's bull i used to hang out with him...,he would say things.'' i shook my head thats not true i said to my self the jose i knew would never be mean to a soul... well maybe only the ones who provoked him but i mean they probably deserved it.
'' what.. no he wouldn't do that...he's sooo nice to me..'' i shook my head once more.
'' he used to make fun of you.. you know..'' i stopped. An imagine of him came up.. i pushed it away . i know who my best friend is and i know he would never do that. i get up and go too my book shelf and pull out my year book. He had to be confused no way in hell was jose my jose machado be the one he's talking about.
'' here i ''throwing he book on o his lap i sit back down.
'' look him up'' Ty glides his fingers thought the pages and stops .He points to the squared box with the picture of a guy. I let go of breath i didn't realize i was holding. it wasn't him.
'' thats not him'' i say stiffly.
'' sorry i got confused.'' he looked up at me then back to the pictures.
''i know'' i said. he turned page after page and shook his head.
''i could have been friends with all of these people...'' he pointed to various faces. '' but no.. i was to busy making fun of them. calling then names.'' He looked back at me. i could see regrade in his brown eyes. He resembled a puppy in that moment and lost one. All he ever wanted was acceptance.
'' we talked big game but we never played....'' i knew he was referring to his jose and the rest of his old crew. '' if i would have just stopped......i would have seen more...i mean now that i got to now you... your pretty cool you know.'' i tried to hide my smile. i had always thought i was just a plus one. Ever since 7th grade when he got expelled when i would see him around he would always look away and give me the cold shoulder and i never really truly knew why. At first i though there was something wrong with me then as time went by i just gave in to the consideration that maybe he just didn't like me just cuz, but now things are different I'm different and maybe just maybe i can fix what was unfixable.

The end.