Curiosity Kills the Cat (An IDFB Fanfic)

Chapter 12

A/N: Imagine having a consistent update schedule? Haha! no..

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Trigger Warning:

Slight Mentions of Blood and Suicide

Chapter 12
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Reminder

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Coiny's P.O.V

The cold wind hit my face. Trudging along the plains, I zipped up my jacket, continuously walking as quickly as I could. The thick humid grass from the cold night making me nearly slip with every step. I still didn't know why I was there; walking towards Leafy. We usually just sat in silence, until I had to leave. We never really talked. But I wanted to be there. It beat laying down on my bed, staring at the endless blank canvas of a ceiling.

I hopped off the small ledge, stumbling on my landing. I fell on my knees and hissed at the sudden feeling of the pebbles and gravel scrapping against my knees. I sat down quickly inspecting them. What looked like small scratches quickly began to ooze blood, droplets sliding down my leg. Another gust of wind was felt, the cold air making my injury hurt more than it was supposed to. I inhaled sharply at the feeling before pulling up my sleeve and trying to clean up the blood. Instead, it just smeared it around my leg. I sighed heavily and pushed myself up from the ground.

I wasn't that far from where Leafy sat anyways. The warm glow already present on the horizon.

I walked. And walked. Till' I got there. The sound of the crackling fire felt like home. The ease and tranquility quickly erasing any pain that was inside of me. I could see Leafy was seated against a yoyleberry bush, in one hand her knife and in the other a branch. With the blade in her hand, she cut into the bark and dug into the wood, carving the branch. I stared for a bit before she suddenly spoke up. "It's rude to stare ya' know."

My face flushed red and immediately, I looked down to the ground and sat next to her. The smell of the wood-burning filling his lungs with every breath. My knees still stinging from the cuts; it was somehow tranquil to me. Unlike back at Yoylecity. It felt so abrasive. Like everyone was judging me. Just because I felt queasy regarding what happened to Leafy. Not like they knew that.

The sudden reminder of death came crawling back, nibbling around my thoughts. I didn't know what to do. My sight glued to my knees, the blood dried against the skin by the harsh winds. How much blood would there be if I were to be killed?

There were always deaths on the show, but they never got past the basic joke. A genuine death, however; how would that look like? My mind began to think, the thoughts of my carcass against the floor. How would I be killed? Maybe an execution like Leafy. Perhaps a stab to the throat. Maybe I would just get beat up repeatedly. It sounded like something they would do. Maybe I was just a couple of seconds away from death and here I was. The wanting of tranquility never leaving my mind even after I die. The wanting to redeem myself. The wanting of fixing up everything. The wanting of death. Even if it scared me – even if it terrified me – I wanted it. I wanted it so ba-

"Coiny, you okay?"

Her soft voice snapped me out. I shot up and glanced at her. Her chocolate eyes reading me, trying to see what's wrong.

"Y-Yeah," I responded, though it sounded more like a question.

Leafy stared for a while, still trying to figure out what was wrong. The reluctance in her eyes as she sighed. "Coiny, we were friends. I-" She stopped herself, her eyes starting to tear up. "I know when you're not fine," she stated, setting her knife down to her side.

I stayed quiet. I wasn't sure what to say. I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from saying the words that so desperately wanted to be heard. It was internal conflict and pain.

"It's just," I began, " It's just that I don't know if I could tell you."

She softly scoffed, quickly replying, "I mean, it's not like I'm going to tell someone."

I blinked, realizing that she was ultimately right.

"I just got off of caffeine."

The silver-haired girl kept her eyes on me. She looked slightly puzzled by my statement, waiting for my clarification.

"I-I was using caffeine as a coping mechanism a-and, they – I mean I," I spoke, stumbling over my words, "I just went cold turkey."

Leafy glanced over to the fire, thinking. The strands of silver hair jumping with the wind. "If you don't mind me asking, why were you using it?"

I played with the zipper of my jacket, worrying about how she might respond if I was sincere. The word sincere played in my head like an earworm. It was better to be true than to play a charade with her. Right? Though the silence ate me, I fought back and spoke up.

"I wanted to get so much out of my head. There are these murmurs of which I just don't understand. All these glances that feel like stabs. I feel like I'm dying but I can't scream. I just don't know anymore," I spewed out, my breath hitching. I caught my breath and said the line that broke me. "I just don't want to live anymore!"

I felt myself begin to cry. A continuous flow of tears streaming my face as I pressed my hands against my forehead, blocking my sight from Leafy.

How weird was it that out of Yoylecity, I was able to be honest with myself. I felt more comfortable in the awkwardness of giant magenta hills.

The sudden presence of a hand rubbing against my shoulder as comfort caught me off guard, but I didn't mind. Instead, I pushed myself into her arms, letting her hug engulf me. I could feel her hand stroke my head, her fingers ever so slightly combing my hair. I felt so at ease as I cried it all out.

Seconds passed by. Seconds quickly turning to minutes. I don't know how long we were hugging but I eventually pushed away – rubbing my tear streaks with my palm. A pang of awkwardness hit me as I gained a realization of what I had just done.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what go into me a-and –"

I was cut off by Leafy quickly stating, "It's fine. I understand those feelings, so I figured you'd need it." The words she had spoken seemingly replayed in her mind – her eyes widening with worry afterwords. The girl looked away, her thoughts consuming her.

"Leafy?" I asked, my voice hoarse from the crying.

She didn't reply. But I could tell she was off.

"Leafy, I know you aren't fine."

Instead of turning around to talk, she stayed put – pulling herself into a hug. I stayed quiet as I tried figuring out what had gone wrong. I ran my hand through my hair; the smear of tears still prominent on my face. My mind raced until I understood what I had to do.

With her back to me, I hugged her. Her body quickly went tense, the cold contact of my arms hitting her skin. She still didn't say anything, but I could feel her shivering. I couldn't tell if it was from the cold but I got my answer quick as she began sniffling. She silently sobbed; no words being leaving her mouth. Her tears rolled down her face one after another.

I could tell that she needed this.

And I wasn't going to take it from her.