Chapter 14

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When I wake up, I immediately wince. Post battle stiffness is setting in hard this morning.
I'm still sitting in a chair next to Derrin, who is dead to the world. I stand up slowly and stretch. My stomach growls and I walk out of the tent.

This girl needs some food.

Sharp wind pulls at my clothes. Snow is blowing around like a madmen. People are huddled around fires in clumps.
It's seriously cold outside.

Why couldn't King Artol have waited until spring time to wage war on us? At this rate, we'll all freeze to death before we can get around to killing each other.

I take a seat around a fire and accept a hard piece of bread that somebody offers me.

"Ma'm" A young man runs up to me and salutes. I nod at him.

"How can I help you?" I ask.

"We lost a lot of men last night. We are in no shape to fend off a attack." He reports.

My heart sinks.

That is not the news I wanted to hear.
I swallow hard and face the soldier.

"Are we in shape to move?" I ask bitterly.

The man hesitates and shakes his head.

"Not today."

I nod again.

"Thank you." I dismiss him.

I look down at my bread. Suddenly I'm not that hungry.

I get up and walk back to the tent.
Derrin is awake and sitting up, looking much better then he did last night. His face, although pale, has regained colour. He is laughing at a joke somebody told as I walk in. When he sees my face, his laughter dies away.

"Any news?" He asks. I sigh and sit back down in the chair.

"It's not good."

I go on to explain our predicament. I try to put a rosy spin on everything, but judging by Derrin's strained features, he doesn't buy it.
We both know we're in serious trouble.

"So what do we do now?" I ask. He just shakes his head.

"We need to get out of here." Derrin sighs.

I turn around and walk a little ways away from Derrin. I can't hide the emotion on my face.
It's a hopeless cause.
We're all going to die.
I hate the fact that I can't do anything. I can't save anyone.
This time, everything is out of my control. I don't have any secret allies. I don't have any tricks up my sleeve.
Every single person looks up to me to save them.
They believe I'll come through and their lives will be saved.
I'm not their salvation.
They are going to die because I was wrong.

"Eadu?" Derrin calls my name cautiously. I turn back around.

"I'm sorry!" I shout. I sink to my knees and bury my face in my hands.

This is all my fault.

I feel a hand on my back.

"What are you sorry for?"

I look up.

"I can't get us out of this one. I don't have a master plan. People are going to die, and there is nothing I can do to save them." I say bitterly.

Derrin looks down at me.

"That isn't your fault. It's nobody's fault. It's just the way it is.
People live. People die. It's how it works. Everybody will die at one point. Maybe that's today, maybe that's in 80 years. You can't change it. These people are ok with that. I'm ok with that. If we die, then we die knowing we fought for something that is honourable and right. Even if we lose this battle, the war is never over. People will rise up and fight until we're free again."

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