Hiraeth

Middle

A gown of silver in blue wraps around me as I move, a small smile sparkling on my face. Why am I smiling? Why am I happy? There are no answers I can find, nothing I could do to find them, nothing I would want to do. A small key dangles at my neck, it's carved out angel wings glinting against the fire light as I move. I remember my father handing it to me with calm hands the day before the ball, saying it would look wonderful with everything and represented me well. I smiled and nodded, taking it. I don't understand why, why I didn't agree with him, why I took it anyway. Small whispers woke me from my daze, I was still moving at the same pace but now I had eyes on me. Tador eyes. They're cold and chilled eyes, watching me as I walked. They stood silently among the crowd, they were the crowd. Soon enough I reached it, a large stage of which their leader stood upon.
Marcus Lupo, everything everyone wanted. An excellent ruler, a wonderful friend, an honest lover, the perfect person. He stood tall on his stage, his height already towering above others. His eyes were a hazel that seemed red in the fire light, his hair a dark raven black that was long and well kept. He was stunning, eye catching. And that's why I was here, the very reason. I was his lover as he was mine, and I liked that. I didn't care about what he did, he always apologized after and was the perfect leader to his citizens.
I had no clue what was to happen today, only that I was to be dressed formally and meet him upon his stage. The floors didn't creek or shutter as I moved on to the stage, he gave me a small smile as I reached him. After that he turned, his attention directed at the crowd. All cold and composed, some wearing small smiles. They looked harsh, cunning, within the light that the small torches gave off. I smiled as I turned, I didn't need to be scared nor threatened. There wasn't a reason to be. But I hadn't acted upon reason within days, who was I to care about reason? I blinked, it didn't really matter.
"If I may have your attention, I'm sure you all know why you're here." Marcus spoke calmly, his voice low but gentle,"and what you are about to witness." A harsh smile upon his face.
I watched, my smile lowering at his words. I didn't react nor move, only stood there as the crowd watched him. Their eyes were like burning ice upon my skin, I was glad they were on him. They didn't stay there for long though, as Marcus turned towards me. I gave him a smile, awaiting his words.
"You are nothing," He smiled back, beginning to walk around me,"you're nothing without me. I'm a king, and what are you? Some girl of Kanyth? I control the most intelligent people to roam this earth, and you control nothing. Your kingdom, even, controls nothing."
Blush marks my face, it's angry and embarrassed, ashamed and hurt. My eyes lower to my feet, I can't look up. I can't look at him. I can hear his voice, how he says everything so carefully and with a smirk upon his face. You can hear it.
"And that, is why I don't want you. Who would? Someone who knows nothing, controls nothing, and could die with a flick of my hand. But I wouldn't do that. I would never hurt you. Is that what you want to hear? All you've ever been is a publicity stunt, a charity case, something of which adds to my reputation and destroys yours. From now on, you'll be the girl who broke my heart, the girl who was taken in by me only to hurt me." His words were cold, harsh, loud.
A burning encased my chest, the angry cold sensation right where the key was, burning into me. It looked as if it wasn't glinting anymore, darkening despite the lights still roaring with their fire. I watched it, anger and madness seeming to appear out of nowhere within my mind. A beautiful monster with the worst intentions. And I liked it, it was perfect. Perfect like the king, perfect like the skies and the ocean.
Perfect. I heard an odd sound, as if someone was choking while still desperately trying to scream. Someone struggling, shocked gasps. Something told me to look, to watch, as if Marcus wasn't still there staring me down. And I did look up, trying to find the source of the issue. It was quite easy, and quite horrifying. Marcus clutched at his neck, sputtering out endless amounts of water. Everything in me told me to end it, end him. I don't remember doing anything, I don't remember what I did to cause such power to emit from me, but it did. Icy, chilling, powerful bursts of water hit Marcus. Chipping at his body, murdering him. And I watched.
And then I ran. I wasn't seen as the girl who had been pushed over the edge by him, I wasn't the girl who broke his heart, I was the girl who murdered him. I was the girl who deserved such a fate that it couldn't be spoken of. But I knew I'd never get that fate, so I smiled. I was away from the Tador kingdom, headed to Kanyth.
Hot stings of pain tore at my chest, but it wasn't coming from anything that I could see. It tore at me, like I was the villain. Was I the villain? It didn't matter.