Say you love me

Three

POV TIVELLY

Chapter name: No dignity

It's been a week since the last time I went to school. It's been a week since Able violated me. I've gotten text after text from my friends but couldn't bring myself to respond.

My boss kept calling me nonstop but I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone until today. I told her I was grieving over the loss of a made up aunt. I was somehow able to get off the hook and I wasn't fired. I'm finding it harder and harder to live this way.

I haven't spoken a word to anyone since that night. I haven't left my room unless it's to eat or shower. I would stay in the shower, scolding my skin with boiling water as I scrub his touch off my skin. Over and over again.

I avoid him as much as I can, but I still see him. I see him in my nightmares. I cry myself to sleep every night and wake up from a nightmare screaming.

I can't breathe. I'm drowning. I'm drowning, and no one knows.

When he left my room that night, he called me a dirty slut. Since then, he hasn't even tried to hit me. But his touch still lingers on my skin—his disgusting touch.

I used not to want to die. I would fight the thoughts and daydreams of dying. Now is totally different. Now I beg and plead for death. I tried to starve myself this week before phoebe threatened to send Able into my room. That was two days ago. I ate a sandwich and then haven't had anything since.

I have to go to school today. I have to face my friends today. I dread it. All I can do is cry now. If I break down in front of them, then they will ask questions. I can't let that happen.

"Come on! School!" Phoebe screams at me. Ever since that night, she's been avoiding me. Not being nice to me... but not hurting me. I think it's her guilt. She heard my screams and cries. She heard everything but didn't come. It's definitely her guilt.

"I'll walk," I tell her lightly. She avoids looking at me as she walks out towards Ables's car. I can't face him. There's no way in hell I can.

I grab my backpack, swinging it onto my back, and then retie my sweatpants. Of course, I can't wear baggy clothes forever. I have to get into the "hot girl" look Chloe loves so much. For the time being, I will wear sweatpants and oversized clothes.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" Chloe runs to me with her usual morning scream. I look at Chloe's sharp features, making her look fierce and beautiful at the same time. Her warm ivory skin, naturally pink lips, eyes so golden you can get lost in them.

"I've been... Sick," I respond as Ray and Zane join my side.

"You look like shit. And your face looks very bruised." Zane points out the bruises that are attempting to heal. I look away, letting my blonde hair fall in front of it.

Chloe stays silent for a few seconds until she tries to grab my hand. I quickly cease my uncomfortable face and let her hold my hand in between hers. The thought of people touching me disgusts me, but at the same time, I need something. I need someone's touch.

I bite my lip before grabbing her, pulling her into a hug, ignoring my inner cringe and disgust of doing this. I hold her tight, letting tears fall onto her shoulder as she hugs me back.

"Are you ok?" She asks. All of them must be shocked. They've never seen me cry. I'm not the crying type, and they know that. "Yes," I reply bluntly, wiping my tears before moving away from her embrace.

"Anyways... there's a party happening tonight." She tells me with a confused expression on her face. I know people would think that switching the topic so quickly means that their friend doesn't care about them. I know Chloe cares about me. The reason she changes the subject is to keep the guys from asking anything.