smile!! [yugbam]

to me by kyg

even if i regret it,
it's too late to regret
i can't turn it back,
now it's too late for my truth, yeah
give me a chance,
please just one more time
listen to what i'm saying

-

with just one backpack all packed up, yugyeom creeps through the hallways, down the stairs, and to the front door to finally leave this place for good.

he was leaving his home. if he could even call it that.

he looked up at the moonlit sky, dazzling the cold midnight with the stars and moon lit up with such potential: potential to start a bigger and better life than he was living. which would probably be easy to accomplish considering how shitty his entire environment became within such a short period of time.

yugyeom ran as fast as he could, making sure the piece of paper in his pocket will not ever leave his grasp as he heads off to the local bank.

i can't believe it. i'm free. i'm finally going to move so far away from these fucking idiots. yugyeom put his mask on when people started to appear in his vision, strangers still passing by the busy city even though it was super late, or early depending on how you perceive it.

how? how was it possible that he lost his entire respect of the public eye just because he told the truth? yugyeom clenched his teeth just at the thought of the bloody sea of death threats and comments posted by who he once knew were his fans.

he walked into the bank, heading to an atm machine. he took out a piece of paper and punched in the right numbers to withdraw...

[redacted] won.

he transferred the money onto his new card and rushed out of the building before anyone could suspect anything.

he put the card safe in his backpack and wander to the train station, heading off somewhere completely far away from here. it was around 3am when he finally hopped onto a train, staring at the window, watching his hometown fade away from his view and memories, which he gladly loved so much.

he doesn't know where he's going, but he knows anywhere far from hell is way better than what he could hope for. the bar isn't high at all. it can't go downhill from here.

yugyeom rolled down window so he could feel the soft breeze brush against his face. he felt his heart twist in endless knots of brokenness.

he took out the picture in his pocket.

him and another boy, smiling at each other...

~

"did you..."

"yes." yugyeom put down his guitar after strumming the last chord. "i wrote that for you."

"but... it's a love song. wait... you're not-"

"yes, jaebeom." he shuffled his feet around. "i like you. i know this is really weird and you probably don't like this. but i can't contain it anymore. i can't keep pretending i want to be 'just your best friend.' so-"

"ew! you're disgusting!" jaebeom pushed him hard to the ground. "i knew something was up when you made that recent painting. i don't want to be your friend anymore. and i certainly don't want to be your sick boyfriend. fuck off."

~

as yugyeom was brought back to consciousness, he noticed he accidentally ripped the photo right in half from the intense anger he felt inside every inch of his body. yugyeom throw the pieces of paper out the window, watching it fly away to who knows where. he felt like punching the sides of the train till it made a hole through it.

nothing could ever hurt more than his rejection.

that's it. i'm never falling in love with anyone again. i'm never trusting anyone and i'm never letting anyone ever be around me. every single human being is nothing but a sick idiot who are so closed minded. if anyone ever wants to be my friend, i'm not falling for it. clearly, it's a trap to just feel the satisfaction of breaking a soul's entire mentality. i don't want to be in a relationship with anyone. whether that's a friend, a boyfriend, anyone. i don't want it.

what seemed like nothing was the stop to where yugyeom wanted to get off of. he walked over to a bridge and looked down at the scenery. instead of tears falling from his eyes, he just felt emptiness. it's great that's he's gone, but what now? what is he supposed to do with himself. he can never feel love again. the feeling he once had that kept him going. made him smile through his days. it was taken away from him.

yugyeom scoffed, thinking about him one last time. if he couldn't love me that way, then who will?

yugyeom kicked around the rocks on the floor. nobody. that's for sure.