smile!! [yugbam]

us by kyg

even if it might be hard
i want to go with you,
i don't know what will happen,
i will say it's ok.
you don't know,
everyone doesn't know about our story yet,
it might be obvious but i won't change.

-

yugyeom carefully balances bambam again and again on his back, making sure he was in a comfortable spot as he carried him back home.

the two definitely got a a lot of questioned stares as he walked down the sidewalks, but that was the last thing yugyeom was worried and thinking about. the faint screams of bambam calling out his name before he fainted kept ringing in his ear.

"YUGYEOM! YUGYEOM!"

he never thought hearing bambam say his name would terrify him.

he regretted letting bambam go to this dance in the first place. especially alone without his supervision. it was hard for him to not wish death upon this girl and the others that interfered in his reason of pain. seeing his best friend be in this state is the second worst thing he's afraid of.

it being behind the thought of somehow losing bambam from his sight and hold. a day where he never gets to see or talk to him every day ever again.

cause right now, bambam was his source of happiness. a sole reason to live on.

he thought about the painting he created while bam was suffering at the dance. the one where he just subtly confessed about his true feelings about him. sometimes he wishes he was brave enough to show it off to him with his mind in tact. or better, that he asked him out a long time ago. so they could just fucking start dating already. but one problem: he's too scared of rejection and the possible outcome that there's never a reality where he could date bambam.

aka, he just doesn't have feelings for him. he only thinks of him as his best friend.

nothing more.

it kills him not knowing the true answer.

but if he has him in his arms right now, he'll take that chance. to take care of him almost as if they were boyfriends. just minus all the intimacy in their relationship. he's not bothered enough to hide his feelings when it comes to how much he loves him.

it's true. he's come up with a fact that he does indeed love him.

of course he could never tell him that.

and he's not planning on any time soon.

feelings are just so tough to spit out. especially the more you know how much you mean it, the more it's harder to say it to the person.

but yugyeom does know: he loves him. he loves him quite a lot.

and he's willing to continue to push his caring love onto him no matter what.

when it comes to bambam, nothing is tiring. nothing is a drag to do. when it comes to him, yugyeom will not hesitate to do it.

it seems like bambam knows he really does care. it's just that sad part of him not realizing how deep it is.

yugyeom os always conflicted, but at the end of the day, he's the one that gets to say he has him all to himself. he's the one carrying him to safety. he's the one that bambam let's gets as close to him as possible.

he is so grateful for that.

but a slice of unfairness will just always linger in him no matter what.

bambam's head rested up on his shoulder. his fluffy hair poked up again yugyeom's cheek. he made sure bambam was still completely unconscious before he whispered off to him. "hey. i would beat up those people that did this to you, but i know you wouldn't want me to do that. fuck you for being too nice to everyone." yugyeom bitterly chuckled. "guess that's why i like you." he continued to talk to bambam. "you know when you asked me that one day my end game was? i recently figured it out. you're not gonna believe what i came to the conclusion to." yugyeom almost found himself crazy for spitting his feelings out to an unconscious person. "i want to be your guardian. no matter where you go, you will never get hurt under my watch! haha, pretty cool, right?" yugyeom couldn't stop feeling down. "... it's my fault isn't it? why must you be so fucking irresistible? i'm in a loop where i want you to stay away from me for your own well being, but i want you to stay for my week being. i can't stop think for only myself. i want you to be free from my burdens, but what will that do if we separate. i feel my world will crumble if i don't have you in it. and that's why i HATE you. because i..."

yugyeom stopped walking and stared at bambam's front door. he didn't even realize that his arms and shoulders were so sore from carrying bambam all the way here.

"i fucking like you. get it?"