To a future love

Ghosted

Dear friends, family, and everyone else I'm leaving behind in Greece ,

I know I've been talking about it for a while now, (and thanks for putting up with me for that), but it's finally close.

Even after all those discussions with you about which cities I should travel to and your insistence that it will be "such an incredible experience," it always seemed like it was something far away in the future, vague and intangible. It's hard to imagine that within the next few months, it's about to become real. I'll pack away my belongings, stand at the airport bidding goodbye to my family, and before I know it, I'll be looking straight ahead through the windows of my airplane - at the next four months of my life.

Yes, I will be living in a different country that I've never been to before. Yes, on that first day when I land in the unfamiliar area, I'll be surrounded by a group of strangers that I've never met before. And, yes, I will be immediately thrust into a foreign culture and language that will take me a bit of time to grow into.

Am I scared? Yes. Am I worried not only about what I'm about to blindly jump into, but also about what I am knowingly leaving behind? Of course. But am I also bubbling over with excitement that, for the first time in my life, I'm about to do something so incredibly new and different that it will make my old life feel like it's worlds away? Absolutely.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life here. And there are days when I think I'm crazy for choosing to uproot my comfortable, secure lifestyle for a uni abroad of risky unknowns and personally uncharted territory. This bubble has been my safety net, and until now I've never attempted to tamper with it or explore outside of it. Trying something this new is unsettling, but mysterious and intriguing all the same.

Now, there's no doubt in my mind that on some days I'll be jealous of all of you back home. I can see myself spiraling into some gut-wrenching FOMO when I log onto Facebook and get bombarded with pictures of you all together, laughing and hugging candidly at some party I'm missing out on. Or when I receive daily Snapchats of you all kicking it in the living room, neck-deep in bonding and friendship, spinning new inside jokes that I'll be painfully unaware of. Although there's this glittering world ahead of me that I'm lucky enough to explore, I'm terrified of drifting away from my home - friendships and relationships that I've spent so many years building and cultivating, shaping and perfecting.

But much like when we stepped foot on our college campuses that first day, we developed a way to balance our home lives and our school lives: two delicate worlds that we held on each shoulder. I'm hoping this will be the same for me when I embark on my journey abroad, toeing the lines between continents and friendships, old memories and new adventures.

To all of you, please don't forget about me. Although I will have new experiences and stories to share when I return (which, yes, I will force you to listen to until you're sick of hearing about them), when I race up to you for that first koala-bear hug "hello," just know that I'll still be the same person that you hugged goodbye, months earlier. Here's to new beginnings, but never forgetting my place back home.