The exhale

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Hmm...Where do I start? Well it's Sunday Midnight  and I am having this thoughts of too much overthinking. I don't know what to say and I don't know what to feel. No one to talk to, just me and my plants. Well apperently I have my family but I am too shy to share this emotional thoughts I am going through right now. Because I am worried that they might think of me as a Drama Queen, but I am not so imma just keep this through myself. 

So this past few weeks I had this emotional breakdown that to the point i cried and cannot control it anymore. I've been thinking so many things like being pressure in so many things that i don't even wanna talk about and put much effort on it. I am trying and keeping myself as strong as possible. The problem here is i have trust issues, trust that was broken years ago and up until now i still don't trust anyone right now. 

And i have this feeling that i just want to be alone even tho It's my greatest fear ,  like don't bother me coz imma breakdown again and again and remembering those awful past of mine. Anyway i will stop here for awhile...Someone is comming..

---------------------------------Friend Came Up------------------------------------------

i stood there in front of you and i thought of everything that had ever broken me,
i thought of everything that had ever shattered my heart, and in that moment when i looked at you i thought of how maybe i'll tell you someday. but for now, i just exhaled.
and i spoke nothing of any of it.. because all of it made sense now, and none of it mattered anymore. 

Thoughts : 

you've got
this big heart
and it's full of all
these big dreams
and maybe sometimes
they feel too big
and maybe sometimes
it feels too hard
but the heavens want to have
favor on you
and it may take a long time
but it will happen in its right time
so take a deep breath
and just hold on .


 But for how long? 

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