Sagittarius (COMPLETE)

Fifteen

Disgusted and angry is an understatement of what I'm feeling after my visit to the clinic. I'm livid, very livid to the point that I want to beat up and choke the hell out of Jen.

She's a devil. She deserves to be in hell. I will fucking make sure that she will rot in jail!

I can't comprehend the whirlwind of emotion in my heart as I rode the taxi to our house. Hindi din nakatulong na umalis pala ng bansa si Casper kahapon kaya wala siyang text sa akin mula sa local number niya. I have no idea why he suddenly left to go to London where he went last time, according to Tamara who just learned the news from Stan. Hindi man lang siya derektang nagsabi na aalis siya.

Nakadagdag iyon sa galit ko pero habang nasa Taxi, naging mas matimbang ang kagustuhan kong makita siya at magpakalma sa bisig niya. I don't know how to address what happened to me. Should I go to a police station? Saang police station naman? Anong sasabihin ko sa kanila? Do I need to call a lawyer? Wait, I don't have a lawyer. Should I go to a law firm and ask for a lawyer?

Muling namuo ang luha sa mata ko sa sobrang kaguluhan. I don't know what to do. Ang daming tanong na pumapasok sa isip ko at halo halo na din ang emosyon ko kaya pakiramdam ko masisiraan na ako ng bait. I wanted to shout how frustrated and hurt I am but I also don't want to. Gusto kong mabigyan ng hustisya ang nangyari sa akin pero hindi ko alam kung paano.

I close my eyes and force myself to stop crying. I could see the concern on the driver's eyes who's checking me from time to time using the rearview mirror. Umiwas ako ng tingin at pinanood na lang ang mga sasakyan na kasabay namin mula sa bintana.

Calm down, Reka. You can do this.

Pinilit kong ayusin ang sarili ko ng makitang malapit na kami sa bahay. Hindi ako sigurado kung kasalukuyang nasa bahay ang nanay ko at dahil ayokong makita niya akong mahina, punasan ko ang luha sa pisngi ko. I expect my mother to be at home because of the open lights on her bedroom that scares me because if she's home, there's high chance that she'll beat me up for just seeing me existing.

But I never thought that learning that she's not home terrifies me more.

"Mrs. Miranda just sold this house two days ago and a new owner just bought the house yesterday. They're just waiting for you since your things are the only thing your mother left. They want you to take it before they move in the house."

Mahigpit akong humawak sa hamba ng pinto ng maramdaman ko ang panghihina ng tuhod ko. My knees wobble and my heart sank so deep that it started to suffocates me.

It's a funny thing that our heart is what makes us alive, but can also be the cause of our death.

Agad akong alalayan ng lawyer ng bagong may-ari ng bahay namin ng makita niyang muntik na akong mabuwal. Though he didn't say that he's a lawyer, he just looks like one.

The man who looks a few years older than me looks at me worriedly and with pity. "I'm sorry, Miss Miranda."

Umiling ako at pumikit ng mariin. I let out a heavy and shaky breath before opening my eyes again and forcing a smile on the man in front of me.

"No, it's okay..."

It's okay. The greatest lie people will say in every circumstance that needs to be addressed bravely, or stupidly. In short, when you're lying or in need to lie. Also, the weakest word a person can say who is afraid to express her true feelings. An obvious cover-up for a pathetic situation.

How can my own mother abandon me like this? How can she act like she doesn't have a daughter and left me just like this? A chuckle escaped from my throat. Plain and humorless chuckle. Ang daming nangyari ngayon. Kaya ko pa ba?